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151: Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind? [ - ]
by OakHillsDrive
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Story Notes:
This is the actually transcript of the episode.  These are lines written by Clay Graham.  I have just put them down on paper.


Written by Clay Graham

Directed by Tony Singletary

Quoted from the www.wtbr.com episoded guide --"Guest Cast Brenda Ballard (Nurse), Doug Ballard (Andy), Rhoda Gemignani (Mrs. Rossini), Jonathan Halyalkar (Billy), Mitchell Ryan (Jack), Kate Vernon (Kathleen Sawyer), Wilfred La Voie (Minister)
w: Clay Graham d: Tony Singletary"


Scene I

Tony is in the living room standing in front of the mirror singing.

Tony:  I feel pretty, oh so pretty.  I feel pretty and witty and . . .  (Noticing Mona and Sam have walked into the room, now sings in a MANLY voice.)  And the casons go rolling a long.  (In a deep voice) Hi! How you doing?  How do I look?

Mona:  Studdly. . . Maria.

Sam:  Going out with Kathleen?

Tony:  Yeah, she's making dinner for me tonight.  She wants me to meet her father.

Sam and Mona: Uh Oh!

Tony:  What, what!  Its no big deal.

Sam:  I don't know.  Meeting the Dad?

Mona: Major step in the relationship.

Tony:  Come on, come on.  He's just in town for a few days.  Its no big deal.

Sam:  If you say so.  Just remember what you tell me when I meet someone's parents.  Mind your manners, call him "Sir" and don't wear a mini-skirt.

Angela and Andy walk through the front door.

Angela and Andy: Oh, hi!

Tony: Hi.

Andy: Are you sure you had a good time, Angela?.

Angela: Are you kidding?  The openess of the sea, the smell of the air, the spray in my face. I love sailing.

Andy:  Well, technically, its not really sailing unless you leave the dock.

Mona:  You never set sail?

Angela:  Well, I got a little car sick on the way over, and then I hit my head on the boom, and I dropped my dramamen over board

Andy:  Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow Angela.

Angela:  Okay

(Angela walks back over to were Tony and Andy are standing.  She reaches out to shake his and because Tony is between them.  Nervously, she and Andy lean in for a brief kiss. Tony looks a way, a little jealously.)

Andy:  Hope that rope burn heals.

Angela:  Yes. The rope burn, okay.  (She rushes him out the door.)

Andy: Bye.

Angela: Bye. (Closes the door behind him.)

Tony:  Well!  You seem to be hitting it off well, with Andy the new guy.

Angela: Oh, Andy.  Yeah. (Smiling like a school girl.) You look very spiffy.  Are you painting the town?

Tony:  No, just dinner with Kathleen.

Mona:  And her father.

Angela:  Her father? Really.(Jealously looking down, while Tony's back is turned towards Mona)

Tony:  Yeah, hey, but its no big deal.  Ewh!  Forgot my carrot cake.  Its her father's favorite.  I made the cutest little bunny out of the icing.

Sam and Mona:  But its no big deal.

Angela:  Well, I don't envy him.  Its nerve racking to meet the father of someone your dating. 

Sam:  Have you met Andy's father yet?

Angela: Nooo.  Luckily, he's dead. (Embarrassed for her choice of words.) Never mind.

(A little boy walks in through the front door.  He is wearing a toy stethocope and doctor head band.)

Mona:  Does anybody know who this kid is?

Billy:  Okay, take a deep breath.

Mona:  If he puts on a rubber glove, I'm leaving.

(Tony coming back into the living room from kitchen)

Tony:  Hey hey look whose making a house call?  What you say buddy?  

Angela:  So you know him?

Tony:  Do I know him?  Are you kidding Angela?  This is a Brooklyn boy.  He lives next door to Mrs. Rossini.  She babysits for him.  How are you doing Bobby?

Billy:  Its Billy.

Tony:  Yeap, sure, oops, sorry.  Billy.  Cute kid, huh!

Mrs. Rossini: (Enters through front door with her arms full of toys and diaper bags.)  How is my little Doogie Howser?  Slippery as a eel this one.

Tony:  Hey, hey Mrs. Rossini.  I thought you wanted me to babysit Bobbyy next weekend?

Billy:  Hey, hey, hey! (Trying to get Tony's attention)

Tony:  What, what, what!??

Billy:  Its Billy.

Tony:  Sorry.  Sorry.  How swiftly he wins your heart.

Mrs. Rossini:  Tony you weren't listening.  Last week, I asked you to cover for me the week after next.  So obviously that would be... Oh, so I wasn't listening.  But I talk so much.

Angela:  It's okay, Tony.  I'll babysit.  I'm in for the night.

Tony:  Thanks, Angela.  You're the greatest.  Hey, I got to go.  See you.

Ms. Rossini:  Yeah, me too.  Tony, Tony.  Nice chipmunk.  (Looking at his carrot cake.) Huh!

Tony:  No, no.  It's a bunny.

Ms. Rossini:  (slapping his arm.)  No, really what is it?

(Tony and Ms. Rossini walk out the door.)


Scene II

Tony is sitting in Kathleen's living room.  He is flipping through a magazine.  Kathleen walks in with a plate of food.

Tony: Oh hey looks delicious.

Kathleen: Dad will hate it.

Tony: What do you mean? He's been in the army for 32 years.  If it's not served on a shingle, he'll love it.  

Kathleen: Then he's going to hate you.

Tony: Me? Are you kidding? I'll win him over with my quick wit and my puckish charm. If that doesn't work, I'll give him my jeep. (Pulling out his keys.)  Hey, come on relax. It will be fine. (He kisses her and then hugs her.)

(Pounding on the door.)  (Tony turns toward the door scared.)

Kathleen: That must be Dad.

Tony:  Or the Cossacks.

Kathleen goes to answer the door.

Father: (walks into the living room.  Kathleen's father is a proud military man.  He enters wearing his "casual" uniform) What's the matter with you, opening the door without asking who's there?  I taught you better than that.

Kathleen: Nice to See you, too, Dad.

(They hug.)

Tony:  Hi.

Father:  What kind of boyfriend are you? You let her open the door like that!  What if I'd been a strangler, Huh?

Tony:  (Afraid to give an answer.) Well, I. .  I was

Father:  You never go for the eloquent types.

Kathleen:  Dad.

Father:  At least he's not wearing an earring like that art student, what was that guys name?

Kathleen:  Tony.

Father:  Right, Tony. What's your name, fella?

Tony:  Zachary.  My friends call me Zach.


Scene III 

Angela's house.

Angela and Sam are sitting on opposite sides of Billy on the floor.   They look tired and worn ragged.

Angela:  Billy...Billy.  It’s time to go to sleep. It's 10:00.  You should be in bed.  I should be in bed.  What do you say?

Billy:  Five more minutes

Sam: You said that two hours ago.

Billy:  This time I mean it.

Mona enters through kitchen door.

Angela:  Oh, mother, Oh mother. Just in the nick of time. We have a little boy who doesn't want to go to bed.

Maybe you can help.

Mona:  All right. I'll give it a try.  Billy. Sweetie. Go to bed, or the boogeyman's going to come and eat your face.

Billy:  What's a boogeyman?

Mona:  Well, think of Angela without makeup.

(Sam laughs)


Scene IV

Kathleen's Apartment

Tony and Kathleen are sitting on the couch, talking to Kathleen's father.

(Telephone rings)

Tony:  (Handing the receiver to Kathleen.)  There you are sweetheart.

Kathleen:  Hello?  Oh, hi.  Yeah, sure. Just a second. It’s Angela. I'll make some more coffee.  (Kathleen gets up and goes into the kitchen.)

Tony: (To Kathleen's father ) Excuse me.  (Talking on the phone to Angela) Hi. How' our little one?  Oh, won't go to bed, eh.  (Covering the receiver and talking to Kathleen's father) We're just babysitting for a friend.

Angela:  (Explaining to Tony) I’m sorry to bother you, but mother' suggesting we get a stun gun.

Tony:  Put him on, let me talk to him.

Billy:  Yeah?

Tony:  Hi, Billy. Listen.  You don't want to go to sleep?

Billy:  Five more minutes.

Tony:  Yeah, look.   I know how hard it is to sleep in a strange house. I'l tell you what.  Why don’t I sing you a song that I use to sing to my daughter?  Let me tell you, everybody who hears this song feels warm and happy. O.k.?

Billy:  Ok. 

Tony:  Okay here goes, ready?  (Singing the theme song to the Mary Tyler Moore Show)  "Who can turn the world on with a smile? Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worth while?  You're gonna make it after all."

Tony:  Is he sleeping, Angela?

Billy: You know, she snores.

Tony:  All right.  Let her keep snoring.  Listen, I've got an important job for you, bud. Go upstairs and tell Sam that Angela's asleep and that you’re ready for bed. Can you do that?

Billy:  Easy.

Tony:  That a boy, see you later.  Bye.

Billy:  Bye.

Tony: Kids. (Hanging up the phone.)

Father:  That was real nice that way you handled that kid. Firm yet gentle warm and loving.

Tony:  Thank you sir.

Father:  Do you like to shoot guns at people, Tony?

Tony:  P. . .Pardon me?

Father:  I'm playing in a war game tomorrow.  I'd like you do join me in the trenches.

Tony:  Well, I was going with some neighbor girls to the Penney's white sale.

Father:  You'll love it. Me and the boys put on our combat fatigues. We slog through the mud and shoot each other with paint guns. There’s nothing quite like that feeling when you nail somebody between the eyes.

Tony:  More bunny cake, sir?

Father:  No, no, no. Tony, I’ve got a confession to make.

Tony:  Well, I'm sure you were just following orders, sir.

Father:  No, no.  I'm 62. My biological clock is ticking. Tony, I'd like you to have my grandchildren.

Tony:  Gee, this is this is so sudden.

Father:  Of course, this is your life but I want you to know I'd be proud to call you son-in-law

Tony:  Thank you, sir.

Father:  (Grabbing Tony's chin.) Good skin, perfect pores, a broken nose. I like that in a man!

Kathleen:  (Poking her head out of the kitchen door.)  Tony, could you help me in here, please?

Tony:  Oh, sure.

Father:  And he's good in the kitchen too!

Tony:  Thank you, sir. (Tony goes in the kitchen with Kathleen.)

Kathleen:  You and Dad getting along ok?

Tony:  Oh, getting along famously.

Kathleen:  Why was he stroking your face?

Tony:  Has he ever mention anything to you about his biological clock?

Kathleen:  Oh no.  He didn't say, that did he?

Tony:  I wouldn’t make that up.

Kathleen:  That's it.  It’s time Dad and I had a talk.

Tony:  No need to make a scene. Besides, he may be armed. Um...look.  I know where he's coming from.  He just wants his daughter to have a family.  Hey, I mean I want the same for my daughter.

Kathleen:  I know.

Father:  He's at a time in his life when he wants to be surround by his children and his children's children.

Kathleen:  I guess.

Tony:  Sure, sure.  He wants kids fighting for that wishbone at Thanksgiving.  Racing around the tree at Christmas time. Their little eyes lighting up as they tear away the wrapping paper. But most of all, what he wants, he wants you to be a happy, with a good home and a decent, caring man. You know what I'm saying?

Kathleen:  Oh, yeah and coming from you it sounds wonderful. I'm so happy.

(Tony looks surprised and worried at what he assumes Kathleen is thinking about.)

(Commercial break)


Act II

Scene I

Tony's Kitchen:  The next morning at breakfast.

Mona is standing by the refrigerator.  Sam, Billy and Jonathan are sitting at the table eating cereal for breakfast.

Billy:  I saw a bug in your cereal.

Jonathan: Where?

Billy:  There! (reaching into Jonathan's bowl, pulling out a small brown object and putting it on the table).

Jonathan: That's not a bug.  That's a raisin.

Billy:  A bug

Jonathan:  It's a raisin and I'll prove it. (Picks up the brown object and eats it.  He makes a face, realizing it was a bug) Excuse me.

(Jonathan leaves the room and Tony enters )

Tony:  Hey Jonathan! What's bugging him?  Hey buddy. How are you doing?

Billy:  It's Billy.  (Billy leaves)

Tony:  No, I mean buddy as in-- Oh never mind.

Sam:  So, how was last night?  Was it no big deal?

Tony:  It was great.  It was great.  We hit it off good.  In fact, me and her father are going to play war games today.

Mona:  I played war games once with this guy named Larry. He was a general and I was a spy with vital information

Tony:  Would you please?

Sam:  I'm glad it went well, Dad.

Tony:  It did.  It did.  Although. . .(laughing) There was one kind of a funny misunderstanding

Mona:  What was it?

Tony:  Me and Kathleen were talking, and somehow she got the crazy idea that I wanted to get married and have kids.

(Mona and Sam turn away)

Tony:  Wait, I'll tell it again.

Mona:  We heard you. The next thing you know she'll have you shopping for furniture and silverware.

Tony:  Actually, it's china.

Angela:  (Entering the kitchen)  Good morning. Nothing for me, Tony.  I'm having breakfast with Andy. However I was thinking

Tony:  Dinner...

Angela: yeah maybe we could defrosts

Tony:  Those salmon steaks 

Angela:  Yeah because the other night we had

Tony: exactly.  Because when you have to much it makes you feel...

Angela and Tony : ugh!

Angela:  Wow!

Tony:  That was good!

Mona:  Anybody want a cigarette?

(Sam laughing)

Angela:  I've got to run. Got to run.  Oh, Sam, could you

Sam:  Drive you to the train?

Angela: No, lend me your scarf.

Tony:  I knew that.

(Angela and Sam leave the room.)

Mona:  Well, you'd better get going, too.  You have quite a busy day. Furniture shopping at 2. Wedding at 6.  House hunting at 8. Baby at 11.

Mona Leaves

Tony:  That’s not funny

Mona: (Can be heard from the living room) Ha! Ha! Ha!

Tony left in the kitchen alone

Tony:  I'll give her baby at 11:00.  That's all I need is a baby at 11:oo

As the steam from the pot rises, Tony begins to day dream.

Scene II

The scene changes to a chapel.  Tony is dressed in a tuxedo.  Kathleen is in a bridal gown.  They are standing in front of a minister.

Minister:  I now pronounce you, man and wife.

Tony goes to lift the veil.  The organ is playing in the background.  As Tony kiss Kathleen.  Angela begins to sing “Ave Maria in the back ground. Tony look over at Angela while she is singing. He kisses Kathleen with a look of shock and awe on his face.


Scene III

The scene dissolves with Tony still standing in front of the steamy pot.  Tony next imagines he and Kathleen are house hunting.  They standing outside a pink and white house.

Kathleen:  This looks like a nice house for us, honey.

They walk in and it is the interior of Angela's house. Angela walks in behind them as the realtor. 

Angela:  Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Micelli. Welcome.

Tony turns around to see that it is Angela.


Scene IV

Tony daydreaming again. This time Kathleen’s father and Tony are pacing outside a waiting room.

A nurse comes out of the doors holding a baby bundled in a pink blanket.

Tony:  Oh.

Nurse:  Congratulations. It's a girl.

Tony:  Thank you!

Tony takes the child in his arms to lift up the blanket to his daughter's face.  The camera does a close-up and we find that it is actually Angela’s face as the baby.

Angela:  DA-DA.

(Worried look from Tony.)


Scene V

Kathleen's Apartment

Kathleen's father enters the room dressed in fatigues.

Father:  My God, that was fun. I could have played all afternoon. It was fun.

Tony walks in through the front door in fatigues that have been splattered almost completely by paint balls.

Tony: Yeah, me too.

Kathleen: (Coming out of the kitchen.)  Hey guys. Oh dear.  You got slaughtered.

Father:  It was an incredible act of bravery.  He threw himself into a trench full of enemy soldiers.

Tony:  I was being chased by a bee.

Father:  Self effacing. I like that in a soldier. Well, I've to go to the little grunts room. You did fine son. (Father leaves the room.)

Kathleen:  Lucky for me You're a lover Not a fighter.

Tony:  It was a really big bee

Kathleen:  After you’ve cleaned up and we've had lunch, let's the furniture stores.  What style would look better in this room?  (Kathleen and Tony go sit on the couch.)

Tony:  I don't know.

Kathleen:  Mediterranean?  Colonial?

Tony: Whatever you like.

Kathleen:  You spend lots of time here. I want you to feel comfortable. Like it's your home, honey.

Tony:  I’m not ready for a home, honey or to be a son-in-law, and definitely not fine china.

Kathleen:  Tony, I don't want to get married.

Tony:  You don't?

Kathleen:  No.

Tony:  (Changing the subject, Tony starts to get up off the couch.) Oh. So do you have any turpentine?

Kathleen:  But I have been thinking about it lately.  Especially since that speech you gave last night, you know, about children and children’s children.  

Tony:  Well you-you-you must have misunderstood, because I was taking in a more cosmic, sort of univer== I was drunk.

Kathleen:  It’s Angela, Isn't it?

Tony:  Listen, Kathleen. I don't know where I'll be or what I’ll be doing in the future, but right now, I can't seem to see it without her.  I mean, somehow, possibly in a diaper.

Kathleen:  I see.

Tony:  Now look, Let me try to

Kathleen:  You don't have to explain. You thought I was getting too serious. You don't feel right leading someone on when in the back of your mind, there’s someone else. Even though what we have is great, It's best for both of us to break it off now before someone gets hurt.

Tony:  Boy! That was the hardest thing I've ever had to say.

Kathleen:  No, the hardest thing will be telling my dad.

Kathleen's father comes back into the room.

Father:  Telling me what? (Her father enters with a rifle at his hip.)


Scene VI

Angela's House

Tony enters the front door and finds Mona alone sitting on the couch.

Mona:  What happened to you?

Tony:  I just uh, broke up with Kathleen.

Mona:  Oh, looks like she took it hard.

Tony:  Oh, it was it was terrible.  The tears, the pleading, the pillow tossing.

Mona:  Poor Kathleen.

Tony:  That was her father.

Mona:  Well, what are you waiting fo man?  Hmm? Run upstairs and tell Angela you’re back on the market. (Mona nugges him with her elbow)

Tony:  Angela’s got a life of her own and there's no way I'm going to burden her with my problems.

Mona:  Ok.

Angela comes down the stairs

Angela:  Hi!

Tony:  I broke up with Kathleen.

Angela stares at him.

Angela :  Oh, Tony.   (She goes over to him.)  I'm so sorry.  She places her hand on his shoulder.  (Realizing that he's dirty from paint balling, she tries to find something to do with her dirty hand.  Uh, what happened?

Tony:  There was just a lot of stuff getting in the way. College, work. and (looks Angela's direction out of the corner of his eye) things.

Angela gives a little smile.

Angela:  Right. Things. So, So. So you okay?

Tony:  Oh, yeah, sure. Actually, I think this was for the best.  I think I'm going to stay home tonight and watch one of those old musicals.  Maybe, uh, Singing in the rain. (Looks at Angela out of the corner of his eye, hoping to see her reaction)

Angela:  Oh, I love that movie, especially when

Tony: Me too! And then when

Angela:  When Donald o' Conner does that

Tony:  Then they sing

Tony and Angela (sing together):  Good Mornin‘, Good Mornin’

Tony: (starts to get up off the couch.) I'll make the popcorn.

Angela:  I can't

Tony:  Huh

Angela:  I have a date with Andy.

Tony:  Oh. (disappointed)

Angela:  We'll do it another time.

Tony:  Sure. No problem. Hey, uh.  Have a nice time.

Angela:  Oh, ok.

Angela goes to leave and then seeing him sit on the couch alone, she smiles and heads out the door.

Billy:  (Entering through the kitchen.)  I'll watch a movie with you Timmy.

Tony:  It's Tony.




The Next Day

Ms. Rossini picking up Billy

Angela;  Here Ms. Rossini, here's this picture he made for you.

Ms. Rossini:  Ohh!. It's a giraffe.

Billy:  No, it's a bunny.

Ms. Rossini:  I never get these. Give Tony my love. Tell him we’re sorry we missed him.

Tony enters through the front door.  Tony is wearing a shredded button down shirt.

Angela:  OH Oh, Tony, were you playing war games again?

Tony:  No worse. I finally made it to the Penney's White sale.

Tony stuggles to make it up the steps but collapses on them.