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193. Mr. Micelli Builds His Dream House [ - ]
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Transcript from the "Table Draft" script of Mr. Micelli Builds His Dream House.

Who's the Boss?
Episode #193. Mr. Micelli Builds His Dream House

Please note that this is a transcript of the actual Mr. Micelli Builds His Dream House script (table draft). As such, there may be some differences from the aired version.

Table Draft
3/9/92

WHO'S THE BOSS?

"Mr. Micelli Builds His Dream House"

Executive Producers
Martin Cohan and Blake Hunter
and Danny Kallis

Co-Executive Producer
Phil Doran

Supervising Producers
Bob Rosenfarb and Clay Graham

Produced by
John Anderson

Co-Producer
Michael Greenspon

Directed by
Tony Singletary

Written by
Bob Rosenfarm & Clay Graham
& Danny Kallis & Phil Doran

Episode: #0821
Tape: 3/19/92

CAST

TONY MICELLI....................TONY DANZA
ANGELA BOWER...............JUDITH LIGHT
MONA ROBINSON.............KATHERINE HELMOND
SAMANTHA MICELLI.........ALYSSA MILANO
JONATHAN BOWER.........DANNY PINTAURO
HANK...................................CURNAL AULISIO
JOE......................................VIC POLIZOS
FRAN...................................CANDICE AZZARA
AL.........................................WILLIAM GALLO
DAVE...................................

SETS

INT. LIVING ROOM
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM
INT. KITCHEN
INT. SAM'S BEDROOM
INT. ATTIC

"Mr. Micelli Builds His Dream House"

PROLOGUE

FADE IN:
(Tony, Angela, Samantha, Hank, Joe, Fran, Dave)
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

(IT'S RAINING. TONY, ANGELA, JOE AND FRAN ARE HAVING COFFEE IN THE LIVING ROOM. HANK AND SAM ENTER FROM THE KITCHEN)

SAMANTHA
Dishes are all done.

HANK
And I didn't even break one. Now can I have a piece of cake?

TONY
Did you wipe down the table?

(HANK GRIMACES AND EXITS BACK INTO THE KITCHEN)

FRAN
(INCREDULOUS)
I could never get him to do chores around our house. What's your secret?

JOE
(STUFFING CAKE INTO HIS MOUTH)
He makes better cake.

(FRAN REACTS)

JOE (CONT'D)
(TO TONY)
How'd you get it so moist?

(WATER DRIPS FROM THE CEILING INTO JOE'S PLATE)

TONY
(NOTICING)
Just add water.

ANGELA
Oh, no. Not again.
(TO JOE AND FRAN)
This happens every time it rains.

FRAN
Joe's a contractor. Why don't you have him take a look at it?
(THEN, TO JOE)
Joe, take a look at it.

JOE
(STILL EATING CAKE)
Hmm?

SAMANTHA
Boy, you do like that cake. Ever heard of acid rain?

FRAN
Joe, put down the dirty cake and find the leak.

CUT TO:
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

(JOE IS EXAMINING THE WINDOW, FOCUSING ON A PORTION OF THE CASEMENT THAT'S DARKENED FROM WATER)

TONY
Well?

JOE
You've got a leak.

FRAN
Isn't he something?

TONY
Oh, yeah. So tell me, Mr. Wizard, if the water's coming in along the wall here--
(INDICATES)
Why is it leaking in the living room there?
(INDICATES ACROSS THE ROOM)

JOE
Simple. It leaks in around the window L-metal, catches a vertical two-by-four, then runs along a joist under the floor board, till it hits the lowest point in the room, where it collects, then naturally leaks right into my cake.

FRAN
Isn't he something?

ANGELA
(IMPRESSED)
Yeah. So what do we do about it?

TONY
Simple. I'll just re-caulk the window along the...uh...L-metal.

JOE
That won't help.

TONY
(COVERING)
You didn't let me finish.

JOE
The window frame has so much dry-rot in it now, you'd have to pull out the whole assembly and re-plaster.

ANGELA
Okay, we'll replace the window.

TONY
(STUDYING THE WINDOW)
Hmm.

ANGELA
What?

TONY
Well, I'm thinking as long as we're replacing the window, why not expand the opening and put in a bigger one? Your bedroom has always been sort of dark and dank.

ANGELA
Well, maybe, but that sounds expensive. Right Joe?

JOE
Well--

TONY
Not necessarily. Correct me if I'm wrong, Joe. But that just means putting in a larger header, right?

JOE
Well--

ANGELA
But Tony, if I put in a bigger window, where am I going to put my bed?

TONY
(KICKING INTO A DESIGNER JAG)
Well...we move the bed against the bathroom wall, which is where it should have been all along. That way, when you walk into the room, you'll see the full expanse of the bed -- voila -- instead of tripping over it like you do right now. Not only that, you'll be right next to the bathroom door, which is great for jumping out of bed in the middle of the night. Ooh, and then we could capture some of that attic space on the other side of the bed for an additional closet, giving you matching doors on either side, which, design-wise, makes for a very nice balance.

(THEY ALL STARE AT TONY)

TONY (CONT'D)
Or not.

ANGELA
No, I'm just thinking about it. It's a lot to deal with.

TONY
Look , I'm sorry. I shouldn't be jumping in here. This isn't my room.

ANGELA
Actually, it will be as soon as we're married. And an extra closet would be nice. Let's do it.

TONY
Great. Picture it, Angela.
(HE STANDS WHERE THE BED WOULD BE)
We'd be lying here in bed looking out our big, new window over there, warming our feet in front of a crackling fire.

ANGELA
What fire?

TONY
That's the other thing. Wouldn't a fireplace be perfect right over there?
(HE POINTS TO THE OPPOSING WALL)

ANGELA
This is definitely sounding expensive. Right, Joe?

JOE
Well--

TONY
Not necessarily. Correct me if I'm wrong, Joe, but since the downstairs fireplace goes right through this wall, couldn't we tap into it?

(JOE WAITS A BEAT)

TONY (CONT'D)
Well?

JOE
Oh, I get to speak now?
(THEN, HE CONTINUES)
Okay. With an older house like this, you never know what's inside. But if there's room, we can add an extra flue.

TONY
(TO ANGELA)
What do you say?

ANGELA
Well, business has picked up...why not?

TONY
Great. Joe, when can you start?

JOE
Well...

TONY
Oh, busy, huh?

FRAN
No, he just doesn't like to work for friends or family.

TONY
What's the matter, sport? Afraid you'll have to give somebody a break in price?

JOE
No, it's not that. It's just that we're newly in-lawed, we're just starting to get along and I'd like to keep it that way.

ANGELA
I can understand that. We'll find somebody else.

JOE
You don't have to. I have a terrific guy I'd be happy to recommend.

TONY
Okay, but listen. I've worked a little construction myself, so I know a thing or two about remodeling. I'm very demanding and I expect nothing but the best.

JOE
Dave is good, he's responsible, he's tough. We were in the Marines together. He was shelled by the Koreans, I think he can deal with you.

CUT TO:
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - DAY - A WEEK LATER

(CLOSE-UP OF DAVE HOLDING HIS EARS, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS)

DAVE
Ahhh! Get away from me! You're insane!

(WE PULL BACK TO REVEAL A GAPING HOLE WHERE THE WINDOW AND WALL USED TO BE)

TONY
(STANDING WITH A TAPE MEASURE)
It's a sixteenth of an inch off. Tape doesn't lie. It's not going to be a perfect match.

DAVE
Fine! You match it! I quit!

(ANGELA ENTERS AS DAVE STORMS OUT. SHE LOOKS AT TONY FOR AN EXPLANATION)

TONY
(SHRUGS)
Shell shock.

FADE OUT
END OF PROLOGUE

ACT ONE
SCENE ONE

FADE IN:
(Tony, Angela, Mona, Joe)

INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT DAY

(JOE IS WITH TONY IN FRONT OF THE OPEN HOLE. MONA AND ANGELA STAND NEARBY)

JOE
You got to admit, the guy does beautiful framing.

TONY
Yea, till you point out he measured wrong and he runs off screaming into the night.

JOE
I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Maybe he's got some problems at home.

TONY
Only if he built it himself.
(THEN)
What am I supposed to do, ehre?

MONA
You? What about me? I've got to share a bed with Angela. Talk about wanting to run screaming into the night.

JOE
Look, I recommended the guy. He flaked out on you. And no matter what the reason -- which I don't know because I can't get his wife to get him to the phone -- it's now my responsibility to finish this.

ANGELA
Joe, you really don't have to.

TONY
Yes he does. Hey, if it was a guy I recommended I'd be doing the same thing... at a big discount.

JOE
All you've got to do is cover my costs and overhead. I'm not out to make any money on you.

TONY
Joe, you're a real stand-up guy.

ANGELA
I appreciate it too.

MONA
Wait a minute. Before we jump into this, aren't there a few important questions you're forgetting to ask?

TONY
Like what?

MONA
(TO JOE)
At what temperature do your workmen take off their shirts? Because if necessary we can wait till summer.

ANGELA
Mother, someone may smother you in your sleep tonight.

MONA
(BITTERLY)
Not with you in the room.

TONY
(TO JOE)
When can you start?

JOE
Tomorrow morning.

ANGELA
Great.
(THEN POINTEDLY TO TONY)
Now will you please relax? I don't want you doing to Joe what you did the first guy.

TONY
It wasn't my fault. That guy was on the edge.

ANGELA
Maybe. But now the house is in good hands. So let go.

TONY
Hey, I'm perfectly willing to let Joe do what he does best.

MONA
Eat?

(JOE GIVES MONA A LOOK)

JOE
I should be able to finish this up in a couple of days.

ANGELA
Good. I can't wait to get back into my room.

MONA
Work around the clock.

TONY
(STUDYING THE WINDOW)
Hmmmm.

ANGELA
Hmmmm, what?

TONY
Wouldn't it be nice...

ANGELA
Oh no.

TONY
Just bear with me for a moment. Wouldn't it be nice if we made this a window seat?

ANGELA
A window seat? Isn't that a lot more money, Joe?

JOE
Well--

TONY
Not necessarily. Correct me if I'm wrong, Joe, but--
(THEN, OFF JOE'S LOOK)
--shouldn't you be answering this?

JOE
Well, the difference is the cost of the bay window and framing for the seat and finish carpentry work.

TONY
How much could that be? Think about it, Angela. It would add character to this wall.

ANGELA
(THINKING ABOUT IT)
I always have loved that look.

TONY
Oh, it'll be so Laura Ashley with lace curtains and pillows all around...

JOE
I don't know who this Ashley broad is, but you just added a week.

MONA
Another week? That's it! I'm jumping!
(SHE STARTS FOR THE HOLE IN THE WALL)
Don't try and stop me.

(EVERYONE EXITS, IGNORING HER)

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE TWO

(Tony, Joe, Workmen)
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER

(THERE'S A FLURRY OF ACTIVITY. WORKMEN ARE PUTTING IN THE WINDOW SEAT FOR THE NEW BAY WINDOW. THEY'VE STARTED TO OPEN THE WALL FOR THE NEW FIREPLACE. JOE STANDS OVER THEM, DIRECTING ACTIVITY)

JOE
(TO A WORKMAN WHO HAS LEFT A DRILL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR)
Hey, don't leave that there.
(THEN, TO ANOTHER WORKMAN-ELECTRICIAN WORKING ON A PLUG)
You damage that plaster it comes out of your pocket.

(JOE CROSSES AWAY. THE WORKMAN GIVES HIM A LOOK BEHIND HIS BACK)

JOE (CONT'D)
I saw that.

(TONY STICKS HIS HEAD IN, CARRYING A TRAY OF MUFFINS)

TONY
Hi, hi.
(THEN, ENTERING)
Muffin Man.

(THE WORKMEN DROP WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND CHARGE OVER TO TONY, AD LIBBING "OH, BOY", "DIBS ON THE BLUEBERRY" JOE SHAKES HIS HEAD)

TONY (CONT'D)
Saved you a banana nut.
(HE HANDS IT TO JOE)

JOE
(FLATLY)
Thanks, Tony.

TONY
I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't interrupt, but you've got to keep the workers happy.

JOE
No, got to keep the workers working.

TONY
I'll get out of your hair, then.
(HE STARTS TO EXIT)

JOE
Well, as long as you're here, I do have a question.

TONY
(WHIPPING AROUND)
You do? Oh, boy. What is it?

JOE
This window seat comes with a recessed light.

TONY
Oh, cool.

JOE
Yeah. So I need to know where you want the switch for it.

TONY
Okay. Let's figure it out.
(HE GOES BACK TO THE DOORWAY. HE ACTS IT OUT AS HE SPEAKS)

TONY (CONT'D)
Uh, I come in the door... and I want to read a book. So I walk over to the window seat and I flick on the light... right here.
(INDICATES THE SIDE CLOSEST TO THE DOOR)

JOE
Fine. So you want the switch here.

TONY
Right.

(JOE TAKES HIS PENCIL AND WRITES AN "S" ON THE EXPOSED POST)

TONY (CONT'D)
Perfect.

JOE
Okay, thanks a lot. You can leave.

(JOE USHERS TONY TO THE DOOR. TONY SLIPS BACK IN)

TONY
Although... if I'm coming out of the bathroom or crossing from the bed, I'd want it... right here.
(HE INDICATES THE OTHER SIDE)

JOE
So you wan the switch here?

TONY
Right.

(JOE CROSSES OUT THE FIRST "S" AND MARKS THE SECOND)

JOE
Good.

TONY
Although... suppose I've been reading, I climb into bed, I look over and, "oh-oh, I forgot to turn out the light."
(HE SMITES HIS FOREHEAD)
But I'm already tucked in, warm and cozy.

(THE WORKMEN STOP THEIR WORK AND WATCH)

TONY (CONT'D)
So, wouldn't it be nice if I could just reach over without getting up and turn of that light?

JOE
Tell you what. I'll give you a switch by the bed, I'll give you a switch by the seat, and I'll give you a switch by the door in case you forget to shut off the light on your way out. Which is where you're headed now.

TONY
Okay, okay.
(AS TONY EXITS, HE NOTICES SOME WIRE HANGING OUT OF A RECEPTACLE)
Should that be hanging there?

JOE
Yes. Get out.

TONY
Okay, okay.
(HE STOPS AT THE DOOR AND MIMES TURNING OFF HIS NEW IMAGINARY SWITCH ON AND OFF)
Cool.

(HE EXITS. AS JOE RUBS HIS TEMPLES:)

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE THREE

(Tony, Joe, Framer)
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER

(JOE AND HIS FRAMER ARE MEASURING THE NEWLY CUT OPENING FOR THE FIREPLACE)

JOE
Okay, that's fine. You can install the firebox today--
(TONY ENTERS AND STARES AT THE FIREPLACE OPENING)
--and leave me enough room for three-quarter-inch drywall.

TONY
That's how big the fireplace is going to be?

JOE
Yeah.
(THEN, TO FRAMER)
Now I want you to hold the box flush to the--

TONY
(INTERRUPTING)
So this is the actual size?

JOE
What did you have in mind?

TONY
Well... you remember the Ponderosa?

JOE
Huh?

TONY
Sure, Ben would put his foot up on the fireplace and give Hoss that great fatherly advice.
(THEN, INDICATING FIREPLACE)
They had a huge hearth.

JOE
They also had a hundred-and-forty-thousand-acre ranch. You don't. This is a standard size fireplace. Trust me, you're going to like it.

TONY
Maybe. If I could see it.

JOE
What?

TONY
It's going to be down there on the floor, right?

JOE
You want it on the ceiling.

TONY
No. What's the romance of having a fireplace in your bedroom if you can't see it when you're lying in bed?

JOE
So you want me to raise the opening?

TONY
Yes. And give me something I can put my foot on.

JOE
Like Ben Cartwright?

TONY
Exactly. I'm so glad I caught this.

(TONY EXITS. JOE SNAPS HIS PENCIL)

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE FOUR

(Tony, Angela, Joe, Workmen)
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - A COUPLE DAYS LATER

(THE BAY WINDOW AND FIREBOX ARE NOW IN. THE WORKERS ARE STARTING TO INSTALL THE DRYWALL. JOE IS MEASURING THE HEIGHT OF THE SEAT AROUND THE FIREBOX)

JOE
Okay, after you mud and brick, that brings us to fifteen and three quarter inches.

SFX: ELECTRONIC BEEP

TONY (O.S.)
Actually, it's fifteen and seventeen eighths.

(PULL BACK WIDER TO REVEAL TONY HOLDING AN ELECTRONIC MEASURING DEVICE)

JOE
What the hell is that?

TONY
Neat, huh? It's an electronic measuring device. Watch. Distance from me to that window--
(POINTS IT AT THE BAY WINDOW)
SFX: BEEP
--Six feet, seven and three quarter inches.
(HE POINTS IT UPWARDS FROM THE FLOOR)
Distance from ceiling to floor--
SFX: BEEP
--Nine feet, eight inches..
(THEN, POINTING IT AT JOE)
SFX: BEEP
Forty one and three quarter inches.

JOE
What's that?

TONY
Your waist. No more banana nut muffins for you.

(TONY CHUCKLES)

JOE
I'm glad you're in such a good mood. Here's your bill, Chuckles.

(JOE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF PAPER)

TONY
(EXAMINING THE BILL)
Two hundred dollars for the light over the window seat? You said it was included.

JOE
It was -- with one switch. The two hundred is for the two extras you added.

TONY
Seems awfully high.
(THEN, FURTHER EXAMINING THE BILL)
Wait a minute. This isn't what we agreed on. The fireplace was supposed to be half this.

JOE
It was. Before you had me move it up, down, to the left, and then "just a smidge to the right."

TONY
You charged me for every move?

JOE
(CALMLY)
No, my sub-contractors did. They pass their costs on to me, I in turn pass them on to you. Trust me, it's fair.

TONY
Well just because your subs are taking advantage of you doesn't mean that you can take advantage of me. Call yourself family.

JOE
This is exactly the reason I didn't want to take this job.

TONY
Of course. It's a lot easier to gouge a stranger.

JOE
Hey, this job would've already been finished and for half the price if you had just left me alone.

TONY
Oh, if I had left you alone, it would have been done all right -- done all wrong.

JOE
And you think you could do it better?

TONY
I know I could do it better. And cheaper and faster.

JOE
Are you firing me?

TONY
Are you changing this bill?

JOE
No.

(TONY POINTS THE BEEPER)

SFX: ELECTRONIC BEEP

TONY
Twelve feet, six inches.

JOE
What's that?

TONY
The distance between you and the door. You're fired.

(A TENSE BEAT AS JOE GLARES AT HIM. HE SUDDENLY HUGS HIM)

JOE
Thank you, thank you.

(AS HE EXITS ALL SMILES, ANGELA ENTERS)

ANGELA
I've never seen Joe so happy. Things must be going great.

TONY
Yeah, great.

ANGELA
Does that mean I get my room back soon?

TONY
As soon as I build it.

(AS HE PICKS UP THE TOOLS, ANGELA REACTS AND WE:)

FADE OUT
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Jonathan, Hank, Al)
INT. KITCHEN - NEXT MORNING

(TONY IS ON THE PHONE WITH A SUPPLIER)

TONY
Look, the fireplace is in, so I need that brick delivered pronto...
(ANGELA AND MONA ENTER LOOKING RAGGED FROM SLEEPING TOGETHER)
That's right, I fired Joe and I'm doing it myself... It's not funny. You're not dealing with an amateur here. I expect to see two hundred used bricks and four dozen of those long metal thing-a-ma-jiggers delivered first thing in the morning.
(HE HANGS UP)
Just got to talk their language.

ANGELA
(FLATLY)
Uh-huh.

TONY
Now don't go "uh-huh"-ing like that. I promise you this is going to work out great.

ANGELA
Uh-huh.

TONY
It will. I can do just as good a job as Joe.

MONA
(TO ANGELA)
Allow me.
(TO TONY)
Uh-huh.

ANGELA
I still can't believe you fired him. Why couldn't you just leave him alone?

TONY
Hey, I was looking out for us. If I didn't stand over Joe, the job wouldn't have been done right. And then you'd have to look at it every day and say, "Why oh why didn't we listen to Tony?"

MONA
In a pig's eye.

TONY
Look, show a little faith in my judment, okay? I know what I'm doing.

ANGELA
I do have faith in you, Tony. Most of the time. But you can't do all this work yourself.

TONY
Way ahead of you, Angela. It just so happens I've already hired a work crew.

ANGELA
How'd you find a new crew so fast?

(FROM OFF STAGE WE HEAR THE CLATTER AND CRASHING MIXED WITH:)

JONATHAN (O.S.)
Hey, watch it.

AL (O.S.)
You watch it.

(JONATHAN, HANK AND AL ENTER FROM THE BACK DOOR DRESSED FOR CONSTRUCTION AND CARRYING VARIOUS TOOLS)

JONATHAN
I wanted to use the buzz-saw.

HANK
I saw it first.

AL
(EXAMINING HIS THUMB)
I got a splinter.

MONA
Great. Moe, Larry and Greasy are remodeling our house.

ANGELA
Let me call Joe. I'll cry, he'll come back.

TONY
Hey, these guys are qualified. Hank worked for his father for years. Right, Hank?

HANK
Yup.

ANGELA
Why did you quit?

HANK
I was accident-prone.

ANGELA
Oh, did you hurt yourself?

HANK
No, others.

(TONY TAKES THE BUZZ-SAW FROM HANK)

TONY
(TO HANK)
You can do the sanding.

ANGELA
Tony--

TONY
Okay, okay. But Al here used to be an electrician's assistant.

AL
That's right.
(THEN)
Dear Mr. Palimeri was a great teacher. I'll never forget his last words-- "Al, noooooo!"

(TONY TAKES AWAY AL'S WIRE CUTTERS)

TONY
You'll help with the sanding.

JONATHAN
What's my job?

TONY
You ever kill anybody?

JONATHAN
No, but I'm willing to learn.

TONY
That's the spirit. We're going to get this job done on time, on budget and have fun doing it. Let's punch in, gang.

(TONY EXITS, FOLLOWED BY HIS GANG)

MONA
I'd better go help them.

ANGELA
You don't know anything about construction.

MONA
No, but I know first aid.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE TWO

(Tony, Angela, Samantha, Jonathan, Hank, Al)
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT AFTERNOON

(IN CONTRAST TO THE PREVIOUS SCENE, MOST OF THE DRYWALL IS UP, EXCEPT FOR ONE SECTION WHERE JONATHAN IS TACKING DOWN SOME INSULATION. HANK AND AL ARE CUTTING THE FINAL SECTION OF DRYWALL RESTING ON SAW HORSES. TONY IS PLAYING FOREMAN)

TONY
Nice going, boys. Good clean edges. Careful with that stape gun, Jonathan.

JONATHAN
(TURNING)
What?
(THEN, ACCIDENTALLY STAPLING)
Ow!

TONY
Never mind.

(ANGELA AND SAM ENTER)

ANGELA
Hi.
(THEN, REACTING TO THE WORK)
Wow.

TONY
Watch out for the nails. Don't want to have a lawsuit here.

SAMANTHA
Hi, guys.

(HANK AND AL AD LIB "WOO, WOO!," "HOT BABE!" "OW!")

SAMANTHA (CONT'D)
Hey, hey, hey.

HANK
What? We're construction workers.

ANGELA
(TO TONY, AS SHE INSPECTS THE DRYWALL)
Very nice work.

TONY
Surprised.

ANGELA
Frankly, shocked. But happy. You got a lot of work done.

TONY
Well, I've got a good crew and they've got a good foreman.
(THEN, TO AL CUTTING THE DRYWALL WITH A RETRACTABLE BLADE)
Hey, watch your fingers there, Al.

AL
(TURNING)
What?
(THEN, NICKING HIS FINGER)
Ow.

TONY
Never mind.
(TO HIMSELF)
I've got to stop doing that.

SAMANTHA
Can I have my husband back?

TONY
We've just got to put in one more section of drywall, then he's all yours.

(HANK AND AL PREPARE TO PUT UP THE LAST PIECE OF DRYWALL. ANGLE ON TONY AND ANGELA)

ANGELA
I guess I was wrong, Tony. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. You know what you're doing.

TONY
Well, I'm not going to gloat. My satisfaction comes from putting in a hard day's work, building something you know is going to last -- and having something to hold over you for the rest of your life.

(ANGLE ON A WIDER SHOT AS AL AND HANK FINISH NAILING IN THE LAST PIECE OF WALL)

ANGELA
And I'm sure you will.
(CROSSING OVER TO AL AND HANK)
Listen guys, you all deserve credity. I'm sorry for ever doubting any of-- where's Jonathan?

(THEY LOOK AROUND FOR HIM. HE'S GONE)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
(CALLING)
Jonathan?!

SFX: THREE KNOCKS FROM BEHIND THE DRYWALL

ANGELA (CONT'D)
Oh my God! You've drywalled my son.

TONY
Well, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
(ANGELA REACTS)
We'll get him out.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE THREE

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Jonathan, Hank)
INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT EVENING

(MONA IS SITTING IN BED EATING A HUGE HERO SANDWICH; ONIONS, PEPPERS, SALAMI, AND AN OPEN BAG OF CHIPS AND CONTAINER OF DIP. ANGELA ENTERS WEARING A BATHROBE WITH CREAM ON PART OF HER FACE)

ANGELA
I cannot believe it. I am right in the middle of taking off my makeup and the lights go out in the bathroom.

MONA
Shattered the bulbs, huh?

ANGELA
No.
(SHE CROSSES TO THE VANITY AND FINISHES TAKING OFF HER MAKEUP)
Tony and his "crew" short-circuited something. They're upstairs in the attic trying to track it down. I don't know how much more --
(THEN, NOTICING THE FOOD)
Oh Mother, not again. Every night before bed-- onions, peppers, garlic.

MONA
I'm just getting you used to sleeping with an Italian.

ANGELA
(TRYING TO FAN A BREEZE)
Cute. I'll have to sleep with a clithespin on my nose.

MONA
It's not that bad.
(THEN OFFERING HER A CONTAINER)
Bean dip?
(ANGELA WHIMPERS)

ANGELA
Move over.

(ANGELA GETS INTO BED)

SFX: CRUNCHING OF POTATO CHIPS

ANGELA (CONT'D)
Mother, there are crumbs everywhere.

SFX: THUD FROM THE CEILING

TONY (O.S.)
Oww!

MONA
Yeah, and the biggest one of all is upstairs.

CUT TO:
INT. ATTIC - CONTINUOUS

(TONY IS RUBBING HIS HEAD, WHICH HE HAS JUST BUMPED ON A LOW BEAM. HANK IS PANNING THE ROOM WITH HIS FLASHLIGHT.

TONY
(CALLING OUT)
Jonathan, shake that flex cable again!

JONATHAN (O.S.)
Right!

HANK
(AIMING HIS FLASHLIGHT AT A FLEX CABLE)
It's over here, Tony.

TONY
Good man.
(AS TONY CAREFULLY MAKES HIS WAY TO HANK. HE THEN USES HIS FLASHLIGHT TO FOLLOW THE CABLE UP TO A JUNCTION BOX)
Aha, there's the problem. We'll re-wire this thing, be back on schedule, and then we can knock off.

HANK
Good, 'cause it's been a long day, I'm hungry, and... I'm starting to smell garlic.

CUT TO:
INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

(MONA AND ANGELA ARE LYING IN BED)

MONA
(CHECKING HER BREATH)
You're overreacting. It doesn't smell that bad.

ANGELA
My eyes are watering.

MONA
Well, if it bothers you that much, get rid of Bob Vila's idiot brother and hire somebody who can get you back into your own room.

ANGELA
I can't. You know Tony. He's a control freak. He'll never let go.
(THEN QUOTING HIM)
"You want a job done right, you got to do it yourself."

CUT TO:
INT. ATTIC - CONTINUOUS

(TONY IS STANDING ON A TRUNK STRUGGLING TO OPEN THE JUNCTION BOX)

TONY
Come on you dirty rotten...

(WITH ONE FINAL JERK, HE POPS THE JUNCTION BOX AND SLIPS OFF THE TRUNK, FALLING BACKWARDS)

CUT TO:
INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

ANGELA
I've got to let him do his "thing."

SFX: CRASH
SPFX: SOME PIECES OF DRYWALL AND DUST FALL ONTO THE BED

(ANGELA AND MONA LOOK UPWARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO THE CEILING REVEALING TONY'S BUTT STICKING THROUGH A HOLE)

MONA
Oh look, there's Tony's thing now.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE FOUR

(Tony, Angela, Joe)
INT. LIVING ROOM - THE FOLLOWING MORNING

(ANGELA COMES DOWN THE STAIRS)

ANGELA
(CALLING)
Tony. Tony!

(TONY SHEEPISHLY COMES OUT OF THE KITCHEN)

TONY
Hi Angela, sorry about last night.

ANGELA
That's okay. I've always wanted a skylight in that bedroom. Makes it easier to see the full moon.

TONY
I deserve that.

ANGELA
Tony, sit down

TONY
No time. I've got a lot of work to do on the bedroom. A very busy schedule.

ANGELA
Not really.

TONY
Huh?

ANGELA
Sit down.

(TONY SITS)

TONY
(WINCING)
Oooh. Making a skylight isn't easy.

ANGELA
Now Tony, I know you were only looking out for us, and you were doing your best, and I really appreciate it...

TONY
What are you trying to say?

ANGELA
You're fired.

TONY
What?

ANGELA
The truth is I can't afford the money you're saving me on a contractor.

TONY
But Angela...

ANGELA
Please, while part of the house is still standing, and our relationship is still... salvageable, I think it's time to hang up the old toolbelt.

TONY
(DISBELIEF)
Fired?! By my own fiancee?

ANGELA
We only hurt the ones we love. Come here, I'll give you a severance hug.

TONY
No! You can't fire me and then grope me. Besides, who're you going to get to finish this job?

(JOE COMES DOWN THE STAIRS)

JOE
I think I can patch the ceiling.

TONY
You're bringing back Joe?! Joe?!

JOE
Hi, Tony. Nice work. Listen, I got to knock down a building on Third Street, can a borrow your butt?

TONY
I will not have him working on our house.

ANGELA
Tony, he's a professional. This is what he does. You have got to learn to trust the people you hire.

TONY
But it was getting out of hand.

ANGELA
Only because you were interfering. You can't control everything.

TONY
I can if you let me.

ANGELA
No.

TONY
Don't I have a say in this?

ANGELA
You nailed my son in a wall.

JOE
(LAUGHING)
And you were worried about me?

TONY
Okay, okay. You want him to finish this? Fine, you finish this. But, Joe, I'm going to be watching you like a hawk.

JOE
Okay, but this is what it's going to cost to finish the job.

(HE HANDS ANGELA A PIECE OF PAPER)

TONY
(LOOKING AT THE PAPER OVER ANGELA'S SHOULDER)
There are two figures here.

JOE
Right. The big one is what I charge if you stick around. The smaller one is if you leave the country.

TONY
Wow, that's quite a savings.

ANGELA
Don't forget to write.

TONY
Angela!

ANGELA
A trip is a good idea. You'll relax, you'll get some sun--

TONY
How can I relax when I don't know what they're doing to my house?

ANGELA
Tony, that's something you're going to have to learn how to do.

TONY
I'm not sure I can.

JOE
Hey, you trusted my son with your daughter. Trust me with your house.

(A BEAT. TONY LOOKS AT ANGELA. SHE GIVES HIM A REASSURING LOOK)

TONY
Okay, okay.
(THEN GRUMPILY)
I'll go to the Bahamas for a week. But I won't enjoy it.

(HE EXITS UP THE STAIRS)

ANGELA
(TURNING TO JOE)
We will.

FADE OUT
END OF ACT TWO