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179. Death and Love I [ - ]
by jasonc_wtbr
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Transcript from the "Table Draft" script of Death and Love I.

Who's the Boss?
Episode #179. Death and Love (Part 1)

Please note that this is a transcript of the actual Death and Love script (table draft). As such, there may be some differences from the aired version.

Table Draft
10/7/91

WHO'S THE BOSS?

"Death and Love -- Part I"

Executive Producers
Martin Cohan and Blake Hunter
and Danny Kallis

Co-Executive Producer
Phil Doran

Supervising Producers
Bob Rosenfarb and Clay Graham

Producer
Gene Braunstein

Produced by
John Anderson

Co-Producer
Michael Greenspon

Directed by
Tony Singletary

Written by
Phil Doran and Bob Resenfarb
and Danny Kallis

Episode: #0807
Tape: 10/11/91

CAST

TONY MICELLI....................TONY DANZA
ANGELA BOWER...............JUDITH LIGHT
MONA ROBINSON.............KATHERINE HELMOND
SAMANTHA MICELLI.........ALYSSA MILANO
JONATHAN BOWER.........DANNY PINTAURO
MRS. ROSSINI...................RHODA GEMIGNANI
FATHER MARCONI...........TOM TROUPE
SKIER..................................
WAITER...............................

SETS

INT. FUNERAL HOME
INT. LIVING ROOM
INT. VERMONT SKI LODGE
INT. SKI LODGE DINING ROOM
EXT. TOP OF THE SLOPE
INT. SKI LODGE - LOUNGE SIDE
EXT. TRAIL
INT. LODGE - IN FRONT OF THE FIRE
INT. LODGE - RESTAURANT TABLE

"Death and Love -- Part I"

PROLOGUE
(Tony, Angela, Mrs. Rossini, Father Marconi)

EST. SHOT - EXT. BROOKLYN FUNERAL PARLOR - DAY
MUSIC CUE: ORGAN PLAYING A DIRGE

INT. FUNERAL HOME - CONTINUOUS

(AT PODIUM, FATHER MARCONI IS SAYING A PRAYER IN LATIN. CAMERA PANS DOWN A ROW OF MOURNERS, ALL FAMILIAR FACES FROM TONY'S OLD NEIGHBORHOOD: VINNIE, MRS. ROSSINI, AND OTHERS. CAMERA STOPS ON TONY AND ANGELA. ANGELA IS COMFORTING TONY)

FATHER MARCONI
...most of all, we'll miss the sweet sound of Joey's accordion. And now to say a few words, his boyhood friend, Tony Micelli.

(TONY COMPOSES HIMSELF, RISES, AND WE SEE HE IS WEARING A BLACK ARM BAND. HE CROSSES TOWARD THE PODIUM AND WE SEE THE COFFIN FOR THE FIRST TIME. THE TOP OF IT IS OPEN. FROM OUR ANGLE, WE SEE ONLY A PAIR OF MOTIONLESS HANDS HOLDING AN ACCORDION. AS TONY PASSES, HE LETS OUT A SIGH. THE PRIEST PATS TONY ON THE SHOULDER AND SITS DOWN. TONY TURNS TO THE GATHERING)

TONY
We're all gathered here to pay our last respects to our beloved friend, Joey Monti. We're here for him in death, just like he was always there for us in life.

MRS. ROSSINI
(THROUGH HER TEARS)
That's true. So true.
(THEN, SOTTO TO ANGELA)
I made Joey's favorite dip for after. You'll have to taste it. Because he can't.

TONY
If your car broke down in the middle of the night, Joey was there. If you needed a few bucks, Joey was there. If you got a sudden urge to polka, Joey was there.

MRS. ROSSINI
(TO ANGELA)
I only use fresh sour cream. And real onions.

(ANGELA COVERS HER FACE)

TONY
I've known Joey all my life. It's unbelievable. One minute we're at a party having a great time, Joey's playing "Stairway to Heaven." The next minute he's...climbing it.

MRS. ROSSINI
And it goes great with corn cips -- which I forgot!

ANGELA
(LOUDLY)
Then go to the store.

(THE MOURNERS AROUND HER STARE)

MRS. ROSSINI
Please, it's a funeral. Have a little respect.

TONY
Anyway, when something this sudden happens, it really makes you stop and think. About how fragile life is, how temporary, how that could just as easily be...me. After all, we were the same age. In fact, I'm two months older. Yet he's laying there and I'm standing here. But for how long? My life could end at any moment.
(PULLING AT HIS COLLAR)
Is it getting stuffy in here?
(OFF THE MOURNERS' REACTIONS)
What are you looking at? Don't just sit there. Get me a doctor!

ANGELA
(CROSSING TO THE PODIUM)
Tony, calm down.
(SHE TOUCHES HIS ARM)

TONY
My arm's numb. I can't feel you touching me.

ANGELA
Your mourning band's too tight. Let's sit down.

(AS TONY CROSSES TO SIT, A MORTICIAN CLOSES THE CASKET LID)

SFX: AN ACCORDION CHORD

TONY
C-sharp. His favorite.

(AS ANGELA COMFORTS HIM, WE:)

FADE OUT
END OF PROLOGUE

ACT ONE
SCENE ONE

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan)

INT. LIVING ROOM - A FEW DAYS LATER

(ANGELA IS ON THE PHONE)

ANGELA
Look, Vinnie, if you see Tony, please tell him to call home. I'm a little worried.
(A BEAT)
No, the idea of another woman never crossed my mind. But thank you for planting that seed.

(SHE HANGS UP. THE FRONT DOOR OPENS)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
Tony?

(SAMANTHA AND JONATHAN ENTER)

SAMANTHA
No, it's us.

JONATHAN
We couldn't find him anywhere.

ANGELA
It's not like Tony to disappear without a note or a call.

(MONA ENTERS FROM UPSTAGE DOOR)

SAMANTHA
I'm sure he's fine.

ANGELA
I don't know. Ever since that funeral, he's been in his own little world.

MONA
Which apparently doesn't have a kitchen. Where's my dinner?

ANGELA
Please, this is serious. Who knows what might have happened? I've never seen Tony so depressed.

(TONY ENTERS WEARING A SKI PARKA, CARRYING SKIS AND POLES)

TONY
(SINGING HAPPILY TO THE TUNE OF "GONNA BUILD A MOUNTAIN")
GONNA SKI ME A MOUNTAIN
GONNA SKI ME A HILL,
GONNA SKI ME A MOUNTAIN,
LEAST I HOPE I WILL.

MONA
He's back, he's happy, let's eat.

ANGELA
Tony, where have you been? We've all been worrying about you.

TONY
I'm sorry. I guess I lost track of time. I was driving around the old neighborhood, past some of the places Joey and I used to hang out. When suddenly I looked up and saw a billboard that said, "Ski Vermont." And I knew what I had to do.

SAMANTHA
Ski Vermont?

TONY
Yes! It was like some sort of...a sign.

MONA
It was a sign!

TONY
And it said to me, "take this trip."
(MEANINGFULLY)
A trip we've been talking about for over two years. So what do you say we pack the Jeep tonight and leave first thing in the morning.

SAMANTHA
Sounds fun, but I've got a date this weekend.

JONATHAN
I've got to study for an exam.

MONA
I just want dinner.

TONY
There's always something, isn't there? We find some excuse to put it off and then we never do it. I saw we do it now before it's too late.

ANGELA
You're right, Tony. But this is awfully last minute.

TONY
Exactly my point. Who knows when our last minute will be?
(THEY REACT)
But if you want to stay here, let life pass you by, so be it. As for me, I'm not putting my life on hold any longer. I'm going to conquer me a mountain.

(TONY EXITS TO KITCHEN. HIS SKIS GET CAUGHT IN THE DOOR. AFTER A FEW YANKS AND PULLS, HE NEGOTIATES HIS WAY THROUGH)

SAMANTHA
Should we alert the ski patrol now or later?

ANGELA
I'm so ashamed of us. For the first time since Joey's funeral, Tony is showing some spark of life. And how do we respond? We just want our dinner.

MONA
Yes!

ANGELA
Do what you want, but I, for one, am going to be there for Tony.

SAMANTHA
What the hey, I can cancel my date.

JONATHAN
And I guess I can study up there.

(THEY ALL TURN AND LOOK AT MONA)

MONA
Trapped like a rat.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE TWO

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan, Skier, Extras)

EST. SHOT - EXT. SKI LODGE - PEOPLE SKIING DOWN TO THE LODGE - LATE AFTERNOON
CUT TO:

INT. VERMONT SKI LODGE - LATE AFTERNOON

(SAM, JONATHAN, MONA AND ANGELA, WIPED OUT FROM A DAY OF SKIING, ENTER AND CROSS TO THE FIRE)

MONA
(ANGRY)
GONNA BUILD ME A MOUNTAIN,
GONNA THROW TONY OFF IT

(TONY FOLLOWS AFTER THEM)

TONY
Come on, gang. There's time for one more run.

SAMANTHA
(ASIDE)
GONNA HELP MISS MONA,
GONNA KILL MY DAD

ANGELA
Tony, we've been here two days and the only time you let us sit down was on the ski lift.

TONY
You got to lay down in the toboggan.
(THEN, OFF HER LOOK)
I'm sorry, but if there's even a minute of fun left to be had, I don't want to miss it. Do you?

MONA/SAM/JONATHAN
Yes!

ANGELA
The snow will be there tomorrow.

TONY
(DEEPLY AND MEANINGFULLY)
Ah yes, Angela. But... will we?

JONATHAN
(ASIDE TO SAM AND MONA)
With any luck, now.

ANGELA
I would go out again, but it is getting dark.

TONY
Okay. I suppose we should take a little break.

ANGELA
(COLLAPSING IN A CHAIR)
Bless you.
(SHE HOLDS UP HER BOOTS)
Boot boy.
(AS JONATHAN PULLS OFF HER BOOTS, A SKIER APPROACHES ANOTHER SKIER AT A TABLE BEHIND THEM)

SKIER
Okay, I just checked. It'll be a half hour before they turn the lights on for night skiing.

TONY
Ooh, night skiing! I've always wanted to try that.

ANGELA
(RESIGNED, HOLDING HER LEG UP)
Boot boy.
(AS JONATHAN HELPS HER PUT HER BOOTS BACK ON, WE:)

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE THREE

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan, Extras)

INT. DINING ROOM - NEXT MORNING

(JONATHAN AND SAM ARE SEATED AT A TABLE HAVING BREAKFAST. MONA ENTERS)

MONA
Good morning.

SAM/JONATHAN
Morning.

MONA
Where's Angela? Did tony lose her night skiing?

SAMANTHA
No, but he dragged her out at six this morning to go ice sailing.

MONA
Let me guess -- "something he's always wanted to try."

JONATHAN
He came for me, but I hid under my bed.

(TONY ENTERS, EXHILIRATED)

TONY
You guys missed the experience of a lifetime. Do you have any idea what it's like to be skimming across a clear, smooth, frozen lake at sixty miles an hour with the fresh wind whipping against your face?

(ANGELA ENTERS, HER HAIR FROZEN OUT AND BACK, HER FACE RED WITH A FIXED SMILE)

ANGELA
(UNABLE TO OPEN HER MOUTH)
Hewwo.

MONA
I do now.

TONY
Lucky Angela. She got to sit in the front.

SAMANTHA
Looks more like they used for face for the sail.

ANGELA
(DOING MOUTH EXERCISES)
Tony, I'm feeling a little... chapped. Could you buy me some moisturizer?

TONY
You got it. Oh, and I'll se if they've opened the top of the mountain.

ANGELA
(THROUGH THE PAIN)
Great.

(HE EXITS. EVERYBODY STARES AT ANGELA IN DISBELIEF)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
I'm having fun. Really.
(THEY CONTINUE TO STARE)
Okay sure, he may be acting a little extreme, but he's just reaching out for something. Something that will make him feel alive.

MONA
And kill you.

ANGELA
Look, Joey's death put Tony into some kind of mid-life crisis. He's got to work through this, and no matter how long it takes, I'm going to stand by him.

FLIP TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE FOUR

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan)

EXT. TOP OF THE SLOPE - A LITTLE LATER

(ANGELA, STANDING BY TONY, STARES DOWN THE LONGEST, STEEPEST, SCARIEST SLOPE SHE'S EVER SEEN. A SIGN POINTS TO "DEAD MAN'S DROP")

ANGELA
Oh my God--

SAMANTHA
No way.

JONATHAN
Not me.

MONA
Only an idiot...

TONY
Let's do it.

MONA
I rest my case.

ANGELA
Are you sure you want to do this, Tony? This is for advanced skiers.

TONY
You can't be an intermediate forever.

ANGELA
Sure, you can.

TONY
Come on, it's the only run we haven't done yet. We'll do it together. What do you say?

ANGELA
Uh... Geronimo?

TONY
That's what I love about you. Come on, I'll race you.

(THEY POSITION THEMSELVES AT THE TOP OF THE RUN)

MONA
Angela...

ANGELA
I know what I'm doing, Mother. Don't try and stop me.

MONA
I'm not. I just want to know where you keep the will.

TONY
Ready?
(ANGELA NODS. THEY ASSUME A STARTING POSITION)
On your marks, get set... Go!

(ANGELA TAKES OFF. TONY REMAINS FROZEN IN POSITION)

ANGELA (O.S.)
(FADING AWAY)
Aieeeeee!!!

TONY
(STILL STARING DOWN THE HILL)
Boy, is that steep.

ANGELA (O.S.)
(CALLING OUT)
Tonyyyyy!

TONY
What am I doing?

MONA
Standing here like a big chicken while my daughter is hitting mach one.

JONATHAN
(YELLING DOWN HILL)
Watch out for that branch, Mom!
(THEN)
Ooooo!

SAMANTHA
Look, she's still on her feet.

MONA
Where's her head?

JONATHAN
(LOOKING THROUGH BINOCULARS)
It's there. The branch pulled up her jacket.

(SAM GRABS THE BINOCULARS)

TONY
I could have killed myself going down that run. And for what?

SAMANTHA
(TRACKING HER THROUGH BINOCULARS)
She's looking good... Real good... Uh-oh... Watch out! Fat guy, fat guy, fat guy! Whoaaaa....
(SHE WINCES)
Tough place to take a pole.

TONY
(STILL TRYING TO SORT IT OUT)
What could I have been thinking? What have I been doing?

MONA
Everything you always wanted to try, but had too much sense to do until now.

TONY
No, no, it's more than that. I've been looking for something to-- I don't know-- give my life meaning.

MONA
And let me guess. None of this has given you that.

TONY
Right. I try it, then I'm empty again.

MONA
That's because everything you're doing is for the moment. You need something more permanent.

TONY
Like what? A job, a hobby...?

ANGELA (O.S.)
(CALLING OUT)
Tonyyyyy!

TONY
What could it be? What am I looking for?

ANGELA (O.S.)
(CALLING OUT, DISTANT)
Tonyyyyy!

SAMANTHA
Uh, Dad.

TONY
I guess I'll keep searching.

MONA
Don't be a boob. The thing that's been missing has been in front of you all along. That is, until you pushed her off a cliff.

TONY
Angela?

ANGELA (O.S.)
(CALLING OUT, EVEN MORE DISTANT)
Tonyyyyy!

SAMANTHA
Mona's right, Dad. Angela's the answer.

TONY
But we're already together. I told her I love her.

MONA
Obviously that isn't enough for you.

TONY
What more is there?
(THEN REALIZING)
Oh.
(THEN REALLY REALIZING)
Oohh.

SAMANTHA
If you married Angela you wouldn't have to throw yourself off a cliff to find the meaning of life.

TONY
Marriage, huh?

MONA
Absolutely.

TONY
(LOOKING DOWN THE HILL)
You know, it's not really that steep.

JONATHAN
(LOOKING THROUGH BINOCULARS)
She's okay... She's at the bottom... She's past the bottom... She's in the gift shop...

TONY
Oh, poor Angela.

JONATHAN
It's okay, she loves shopping.

TONY
Look what she did for me. She risked her life. She supported me through all this craziness. And I didn't see it...

MONA
And now you do?

TONY
Damn right! I'm going to do it! I'm going to ask Angela to marry me!

(THEY ALL AD-LIB CONGRATULATIONS)

MONA
Well, get down there and do it!

TONY
You bet! Here I got...

(HE PUTS HIS GOGGLES ON, POISED TO GO, THEN)

TONY (CONT'D)
Down the Bunny Trail.

(HE TURNS HIS SKIS AND SNOW PLOWS DOWN THE EASY WAY)

FADE OUT
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan)

FADE IN:
INT. SKI LODGE - LOUNGE-SIDE - LATER THAT EVENING

(MONA AND SAM ENTER AND CROSS TO WHERE TONY AND JONATHAN ARE SITTING)

SAMANTHA
Angela will be down in a couple of minutes.

TONY
You didn't say anything to her, did you?

MONA
No. When we called her room she was just getting up from a nap.

TONY
Good, good. Because I want tonight to be a really big surprise.

MONA
After seven years, you'll be lucky if her heart doesn't stop.

SAMANTHA
So how are you going to pop the question?

TONY
Well, I thought I'd keep it simple, but elegant. We'll have a lovely meal with candlelight, champagne. And at the right moment, I'll turn to her and say, "Angela, I love you. Will you marry me?"

(SAM AND MONA LOOK AT HIM A BEAT)

MONA
That's it?

TONY
Yeah. It was lovely! Wasn't it?

SAMANTHA
Uh frankly... it's been done.

MONA
By every dufus with a bad haircut, reeking of cheap cologne.

TONY
(OFFENDED)
Hey, I was getting goo-goo eyes from the maid.

SAMANTHA
Look, Dad, you've got to do something special, something memorable, something romantic.

JONATHAN
(RE: COLOGNE)
Something to take her mind off that stench.
(OFF TONY'S LOOK)
I'll keep a watch out for mom.

(JONATHAN CROSSES TO THE DOOR)

MONA
You know, the most memorable proposal I ever had was on the back of an elephant.

TONY
And you're worried about my cologne?

MONA
The circus was in town and this wonderful man rented an elephant, rode up to my apartment, and asked for my hand in marriage.

SAMANTHA
Wow. Who was that?

MONA
Who remembers.
(OFF THEIR LOOKS)
I said the proposal was memorable. Not the guy.

TONY
(SCOFFING)
Great idea, Mona. Where am I going to get an elephant?

SAMANTHA
Wait a minute. They've got horses and sleighs here. What's wrong with that?

MONA
That's it. A sleigh ride. You propose under the stars, huddled close together, all warm and cozy...
(THEN)
Damn! What was that guy's name with the elephant?

TONY
That does sound good. A sleigh ride through the woods, with just me and--

MONA
Leo!

TONY
Leo?

MONA
That was the name of the guy.
(THEN REMEMBERING)
No, that was the name of the elephant.

TONY
Okay, okay, I'm all set. Except for the ring. I wonder if they repaired the gift shop yet.

MONA
I've got the ring covered.
(SHE TAKES A RING OFF HER FINGER)
Here. You can borrow this.

TONY
(TAKING THE RING FROM HER)
Wow. This is so sweet of you.

MONA
Just take good care of it. It was given to me by -- Damn! What was his name?!

(JONATHAN REENTERS)

JONATHAN
Here comes Mom!

TONY
(NERVOUSLY)
Oh boy.

MONA
Just stay calm.

SAMANTHA
Yeah. There's nothing to be nervous about. This is the woman you love and you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

(ANGELA ENTERS LOOKING LIKE THE WRECK OF THE HESPERUS, BATTERED AND BRUISED. SHE MOVES INCREDIBLY SLOWLY, EVERY INCH OF HER BODY IN PAIN. SHE'S WEARING A NECK-BRACE AND HER HAIR LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN SLEPT ON. TONY IS IN SHOCK)

TONY
Oh, my--

MONA
Just remember what she looked like before you threw her off the mountain.

(ANGEL SHUFFLES OVER TO THEM)

ANGELA
(WEAKLY)
Hi.

TONY
You okay?

ANGELA
Oh, fine, fine. The doctor says I should have complete movement in my neck in about three weeks.

TONY
I feel so terrible. I just froze up and I couldn't--
(INDICATING ANGELA'S CONDITION)
Do that to myself.

SAMANTHA
Well, see you guys later.

JONATHAN
Have fun.

MONA
Yeah, enjoy the sleigh ride.

(THEY EXIT BEFORE ANGELA CAN RESPOND. SHE'S NOT TURNING TOO QUICKLY)

ANGELA
Sleigh ride?

TONY
Oh, I was just thinking it was our last night here and it might be fun. But I can see that you're probably not--

ANGELA
No, no, Tony. If that's what you want to do, I think it'll be lovely.
(THEN)
We don't have to go down any hills, do we?

TONY
(ROMANTICALLY)
No, we're just going to "park."

ANGELA
That would be nice.

TONY
Great. Let's go.

(TONY EAGERLY HEADS TOWARDS THE DOOR, AS ANGELA SHUFFLES BEHIND HIM. TONY REALIZES SHE'S NOT BESIDE HIM, STOPS, GOES BACK AND GETS HER)

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE TWO

(Tony, Angela)

EST. SHOT - STOCK FOOTAGE OF HORSE-DRAWN SLEIGH PULLING A DRIVER AND TWO PEOPLE THROUGH THE SNOW AT NIGHT

TONY (O.S.)
(TO DRIVER)
This is perfect. Stop right here.

CUT TO:

EXT. TRAIL - NIGHT, A SHORT WHILE LATER

(TONY AND ANGELA RE SNUGGLED UP IN THE SLEIGH. IT'S JUST STOPPED. TONY LOOKS WARM AND COMFORTABLE, ANGELA'S TEETH ARE CHATTERING)

TONY
(TO DRIVER)
Why don't you take a little walk.
(HE HANDS THE DRIVER A TIP)
And blindfold the horse.

(THE DRIVER EXITS)

TONY (CONT'D)
Isn't this magnificent?

ANGELA
(TEETH CHATTERING)
Y-y-y-es.

(SHE SNEEZES)

TONY
Are you catching a cold?

ANGELA
N-n-no. Pneumonia.

TONY
Come here, I'll keep you warm.

(SHE SNUGGLES CLOSER. THERE'S A LONG BEAT OF SILENCE)

TONY (CONT'D)
(LOOKING UP AT THE SKY)
Have you ever seen so many stars?
(POINTING UP)
There's Cassiopeia. There's the North Star. Oh, and the Big Dipper.
(UNSEEN BY TONY, ANGELA TRIES TO LOOK UP. SHE CAN'T FIND A WAY TO DO IT WITHOUT HURTING HER NECK)

ANGELA
Uh, Tony, could you, uh...

TONY
(THEN NOTICING THAT SHE CAN'T BEND HER NECK BACK)
Oh, sure.

(HE CRADLES HER IN HIS ARMS AND BENDS HER OVER HIS LAP)

TONY (CONT'D)
How's that.

ANGELA
(AS IF SEEING THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME)
Oh, stars.

TONY
Really beautiful, huh?

ANGELA
Yeah.

INSERT STOCK FOOTAGE OF A SHOOTING STAR

ANGELA (CONT'D)
Wow, I just saw a shooting star.

TONY
Me, too. You know, the're good luck.

ANGELA
Where was it this afternoon?

SFX: DISTANT ROAR OF TRACTORS

TONY
I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.

ANGELA
It's okay. I know it was--
(SHE COUGHS)
Could you sit me up? I'm starting to drip down my throat.

TONY
Oh, sure. No problem.

(HE LIFTS HER BACK UP AND REPOSITIONS HER ON THE SLEIGH)

SFX: THE TRACTOR NOISE GETS CLOSER AND LOUDER

ANGELA
Th-thank you.
(THEN)
This afternoon wasn't your fault. You've been going through a lot lately.

TONY
That's true. In fact, I had this incredible realization watching you barrel down that mountain.

SFX: THE TRACTOR NOISE GETS EVEN CLOSER AND LOUDER

TONY (CONT'D)
I realized something about my life. About what I needed and what really is important.

ANGELA
(STRUGGLING TO HEAR HIM OVER THE TRACTOR)
I'm sorry, Tony. I missed the last part. The snow-making equipment is so loud.

TONY
(YELLING)
I said that I --

SFX: THE TRACTOR NOISE BECOMES ALMOST DEAFENING
SFX: HORSE WHINNYING

(TONY LEANS FORWARD TO GRAB THE REIGNS TO STEADY THE HORSE)

TONY
Easy, Bessie. Whoa.

(JUST THEN THE SPOUT OF A SNOW BLOWER PASSES INTO THE FRAME, COMPLETELY COVERING ANGELA WITH SNOW AND NOT GETTING A DROP ON TONY)

SFX: TRACTOR MOVING AWAY, SOUND FADES OUT

TONY (CONT'D)
(REACTING)
Angela!

ANGELA
(STARTING TO CRY)
I was just sitting here. I wasn't even on my skis.

TONY
(BRUSHING THE SNOW OFF HER)
So much for the "shooting star theory."

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE THREE

(Tony, Angela, Extras)

INT. LODGE - IN FRONT OF THE FIRE - A SHORT WHILE LATER

(TONY HELPS ANGELA UNZIP HER COAT. SNOW COMES POURING OUT FROM IT)

TONY
How can one thin woman hold so much snow?

ANGELA
I can't feel my feet.

(HE TAKES OFF HER BOOTS, REVEALING A BANDAGED FOOT AND ANKLE. HE PUTS HER FEET UP ON THE LEDGE IN FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE)

ANGELA
My bandages feel a little tight.

TONY
No they're not . They're frozen.

(HE LOOSENS THE GAUSE BY UNWRAPPING ONE END AND LEAVES IT ON THE LEDGE)

ANGELA
Much better. Thanks.

(WAITER APPROACHES CARRYING A TEA SERVICE)

WAITER
Here's your tea, sir.

TONY
(HE TAKES IT AND POURS ANGELA A CUP)
This'll warm you right up. You'll be good as new.

ANGELA
Let's not get our hopes up.

(TONY SITS ON THE LEDGE FACING ANGELA)

TONY
I'm really, really, really sorry.

ANGELA
I know. It's okay.

TONY
You're such a good sport. Not to mention beautiful, fascinating and incredibly sexy.
(OFF HER CUT-THE-BULL LOOK)
I mean it. You are the most exciting woman I've ever known.

ANGELA
Tony, I'm on fire.

TONY
Me, too. I want you so much.

ANGELA
No! My foot! It's of fire! You left the bandage too close to the flame!

(WE REVEAL THE END OF THE ACE BANDAGE SMOLDERING. TONY STARTS BEATING ON THE BANDAGE)

TONY
I got it! I got it!

ANGELA
It's still burning!

(TONY, UNTHINKING, TAKES THE HOT TEA AND THROWS IT ON HER SMOLDERING FOOT)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
(SCREAMING OUT IN PAIN)
Oooowww! Hot tea! Hot tea!

TONY
Oh, Angela, I'm sorry!

ANGELA
(WHIMPERING)
And I thought you liked me!

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE FOUR

(Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan, Waiter, Extras)

INT. LODGE - RESTAURANT TABLE - SHORT TIME LATER

(TONY AND ANGELA ARE SEATED AT A TABLE FINISHING THEIR SALADS)

TONY
Are you feeling okay now?

ANGELA
The soup helped.

TONY
Good.

(TONY IS DISTRACTED BY MONA, JONATHAN AND SAM PEEKING AT THEM THROUGH THE FIREPLACE. THEY PANTOMIME "DID SHE SAY YES?" AND POINT TO THE RING FINGER. ANGELA SEES TONY SIGNALING PAST HER. SHE TURNS AROUND AND SPOTS THEM. THEY QUICKLY COVER THEIR PANTOMIME AND WAVE "HI.")

TONY
(RISING)
Uh, they must need their room key. I'll be right back.

(TONY CROSSES TO THEM)

SAMANTHA
Well? Are congratulations in order?

JONATHAN
Yeah, what'd she say?

TONY
She couldn't say anything. Her lips were frozen, thanks to your stupid sleigh ride idea. I'll try again when we get back home.

MONA
You're going to put it off? Have you learned nothing from Joey's passing?

TONY
The moment's blown. Besides, after what I've put her through, I wouldn't know what to say...

MONA
Don't say anything. Just take the ring, and when she's not looking, drop it in the champagne glass.

SAMANTHA
Yeah, she'll look at the ring, she'll look at you, she'll know.

TONY
Might work. Just might work.

MONA
Only if you go over there and do it.

(SHE PUSHES HIM BACK TOWARD THE TABLE. THE WAITER HAS JUST DELIVERED THEIR ENTREES AS TONY SITS DOWN)

ANGELA
Everything okay?

TONY
Everything's fine, perfect. How about some more champagne?

(HE PICKS UP THE BOTTLE)

ANGELA
I've had enough.

TONY
No, you haven't!
(SHE REACTS)
I mean, I want to make a toast and you've got to have something to toast with, right?

ANGELA
Okay, okay. Relax.

(SHE HOLDS UP HER GLASS AS TONY POURS THEM BOTH SOME CHAMPAGNE. HE REPLACES THE BOTTLE IN THE BUCKET. ANGELA STARES AT HIM. HE STARES BACK)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
Well?

TONY
Well, what?

ANGELA
The toast.

TONY
Oh, yeah. The toast... Uh, uh...
(THEN, TURNING HIS HEAD TOWARD THE WINDOW)
Oh, look. It's starting to snow.

(HE SURREPTIOUSLY TAKES THE RING OUT IN ANTICIPATION. STILL HOLDING THE GLASS IN FRONT OF HER, ANGELA TURNS HER HEAD TOWARD THE WINDOW. JUST AS TONY'S ABOUT TO DROP IN THE RING, SHE MOVES THE GLASS WHILE SHIFTING HER BODY TO GET A BETTER LOOK. TONY DROPS THE RING. IT LANDS IN HER MASHED POTATOES)

ANGELA
It's not snowing.

(TONY REACHES FOR THE MASHED POTATOES TO RETRIEVE THE RING, JUST AS ANGELA TURNS BACK TOWARD HIM. HE INADVERTENTLY PUSHES THE RING FURTHER INTO THE POTATOES)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
What are you doing?

TONY
(CAUGHT)
Uh, your mashed potatoes were a little lumpy. I was re-mashing them.

ANGELA
Next time, could you use a fork?

TONY
Oh, sure. Sorry.
(TAKES HIS FINGERS OUT OF HER FOOD)
Anyway, where were we?

ANGELA
You were going to propose a toast.

TONY
Oh, yeah. Right. To your health. Or, at least what's left of it.

(SHE GIVES HIM A CURIOUS LOOK. THEN, RESIGNED, THEY DRING. SHE PUTS DOWN HER CHAMPAGNE AND PICKS UP A FORK)

TONY
(INDICATING HER MASHED POTATOES)
Can I have those?

ANGELA
You have your own mashed potatoes.

TONY
Yeah, but, uh, mine are lumpy. Yours are already re-mashed.

(ANGELA TAKES HER FINGER, JABS TONY'S MASHED POTATOES A FEW TIMES)

ANGELA
There. Now yours are re-mashed too.

(ANGELA TAKES A FORKFUL OF MASHED POTATOES, STARTS TO PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH)

TONY
Wait!

(TOO LATE. SHE BEGINS CHEWING. SHE SUDDENLY WINCES IN PAIN)

ANGELA
Ow! My tooth!

TONY
Don't swallow it! Dn't swallow it!

(ANGELA PULLS THE POTATO-ENCRUSTED RING FROM HER MOUTH)

ANGELA
What the--? Waiter!

TONY
No, no, Angela. It's not his fault. It's mine.

ANGELA
(A BROKEN-TOOTH WHISTLE)
Yoursssss?
(THEN)
Oh great, I broke it. Now I sssound sssstupid.
(CLEANING THE RING WITH A NAPKIN)
Tony, why on earth would you--
(THEN, PUTTING IT TOGETHER, BETWEEN RING AND TONY'S NERVOUS LOOK)
Oh, my God.

TONY
(SMILES AND NODS)
It was supposed to go in the champagne.

ANGELA
Oh, my God.

TONY
So, what do you say?

ANGELA
Oh, my God.

TONY
Yeah, I got that part.

ANGELA
What do you think I'm going to sssay? You froze me, ssset my foot on fire...
(GETTING VERY EMOTIONAL)
...and now you've broken my tooth. Oh, Tony! The anser isss yessss, yessss, a thousand timesss yessss!

(SHE THROWS HER ARMS AROUND HIM)

TONY
Sssswell.
(THEY KISS, THEN)
Here, let me help you put it on.

ANGELA
Thanksss.
(THEN MAKING AN EFFORT NOT TO WHISTLE)
I mean, thanks.

(TONY SLIPS IT ON HER FINGER)

ANGELA (CONT'D)
Oh, Tony, it's lovely. It's beautiful. It's...
(THEN, RECOGNIZING)
...Mother's.

TONY
Yeah, it was given to her by... what's his name?

ANGELA
I liked him.
(THEN, ADMIRING THE RING)
It was very nice of Mother to help you out like this.

TONY
Yeah, it was. In fact, if it wasn't for Mona, I don't think any of this would have happened.

ANGELA
Mother?

TONY
Not just her. Sam was in there pitching, too. Without them I might not have even thought of this.

ANGELA
So, you asked me to marry you because they talked you into it?

TONY
(REALIZING HE'S STEPPED IN IT)
No, no. You're taking this all out of context. We had a whole big discussion about life, fulfillment and Joey's death. It was heavy, Angela, veary heavy.

ANGELA
I understand. Because of Mona, Sam and a dead accordion player, you're asking me to marry you.

TONY
Of course not! They just made me realize I was trying to live life to the fullest by taking a lot of crazy risks. But all along I was afraid to take the biggest risk of all -- marrying you...
(ANGELA REACTS)
...Sweetheart. Not that you're a risk. But marriage is a risk. But not to you. You're a sure thing. I mean--
(CLUTCHING AT STRAWS)
Look, it's snowing.

ANGELA
It's okay, Tony. I think I understand.

TONY
Oh, good.
ANGELA
You're not ready for this.

TONY
What?

ANGELA
Don't you see? You're doing it for the wrong reasons -- because somebody told you to, because you're going thorugh some mid-life crisis.

TONY
Who cares what the reasons are? I want to marry you.

ANGELA
Tony, I don't want you to wake up a week from now and say to yourself, "Gee, I didn't have to marry Angela..."
(KNOCKS HER HEAD A LA THE "V8 COMMERCIAL")
"I could've gone windsurfing."

TONY
I would never say that. I don't even like windsurfing. I like you.
(GRABBING HOLD OF HER)
I love you.

ANGELA
I'm sorry, my answer is... no.

(SHE TAKES OFF THE RING, HANDS IT BACK TO HIM, AND STARTS TO RISE. MONA, SAM AND JONATHAN ENTER CARRYING A CAKE)

MONA/SAM/JONATHAN
CONGRATULATIONS!

(ANGELA BURSTS INTO TEARS AND RUNS OFF)

MONA
I've never seen her so happy.

FADE OUT
END OF ACT TWO