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119. Ode to Angela [ - ]
by jasonc_wtbr
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Transcript from the "Final Draft" script of Ode to Angela.

Who's the Boss?
Episode #119 - Ode to Angela

Please note that this is a transcript of the actual Ode to Angela script. As such, there may be some differences from the aired version.

Final Draft
April 5, 1989

WHO'S THE BOSS?

"Ode To Angela"

Executive Producers
Blake Hunter
and
Martin Cohan

Supervising Producers
Karen Wengrod & Ken Cinnamon

Produced by
Danny Kallis
and
John Anderson

Directed by
Asaad Kelada

Written by
Daniel Palladino

Episode: #0521
Tape: April 7, 1989

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE
(Tony, Mona, Angela, Brian)

FADE IN:

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
(TONY AND MONA ARE PLAYING CARDS. MONA PLAYS DOWN HER HAND)

MONA
Gin.

TONY
I hate when you do that.

MONA
You're just a sore loser.

TONY
We're playing Crazy Eights!

MONA
So I improvised a little.

(ANGELA ENTERS THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR, DRESSED IN WORK CLOTHES)

TONY
Finally. It's after nine.

MONA
Yeah. When I left the office at five, you didn't say you'd be late.

ANGELA
I got stuck with a client...And you left at 3:30, Mother.

TONY
She improvises, Angela. It's bigger than both of us.
(SHE HEADS FOR THE STAIRS)
By the way, some guy named Brain Thomas called.

(ANGELA DASHES DOWN THE STAIRS AND GRABS TONY'S MESSAGES)

ANGELA
Brian called? Brian? Brian Thomas?

TONY
Yeah, he called from Vegas.

ANGELA
Brian? Brian Thomas?

TONY
Yeah, he's flying out to see you.

ANGELA
Brian? Brian Thomas?

TONY
(AGGRAVATED)
Yeah, Brian. Brian Thomas. Sheesh. Who is this guy?

MONA
It's Brian. Brian Thomas.

(TONY THROWS MONA A LOOK)

TONY
So who is he?!

ANGELA
Oh, nobody. Just an old friend from college...we were in a poetry class together. When's he coming?

SFX: DOORBELL

TONY
Guess.

ANGELA
(PANICKED)
Oh no.

TONY
Hey, if you don't want to see him I'll just tell him you're not home.

ANGELA
No. I mean my clothes are wrinkled, my hair's a rat's nest...

MONA
(RAPID FIRE)
Your eyes are bloodshot, your skin is puffy, your ankles are swollen...I can go on all day.

ANGELA
Mother.

MONA
All right. You're a good driver.

SFX: DOORBELL

(TONY OPENS THE DOOR TO BRIAN, A HANDSOME, EARTHY 40-YEAR OLD. HE REMAINS OUTSIDE)

BRIAN
Hi. I'm Brian.

TONY
Brian? Brian Thomas?

BRIAN
(SPOTTING ANGELA)
Angela.

ANGELA
Brian.
(THEY DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HUG, KISS OR SHAKE HANDS. ANGELA WAVES AWKWARDLY)
Hi.

BRIAN
After twenty years you look radiant.

TONY
That's because I make sure she gets plenty of rest, exercises regularly, and avoids between meal treats.

MONA
(RE: ANGELA)
And doesn't she have a shiny coat?

ANGELA
Brian, this is my housekeeper, Tony Micelli. And my mother, Mona.

BRIAN
(SHAKING MONA'S HAND)
Your eyes shine, Mona...As if Heaven itself resides in them.

(MONA IS FROZEN, STARING AT BRIAN)

ANGELA
How sweet. Wasn't that sweet, Mother?

MONA
I'd like to bear your children.

TONY
Sorry, the last time she heard her name in a poem, it started "There once was a man from Nantucket."

ANGELA
So...how have you been?

BRIAN
Fine, I teach poetry now.

ANGELA
Good.
(AWKWARD BEAT)
So...why are you here?

BRIAN
(DELICATELY)
Uh...Do Tony and Mona know what happened with us?

ANGELA
(NERVOUSLY)
Yes. I mean, I ran down the highlights. They know we were schoolmates. Lunch buddies.

BRIAN
Oh, but do they know about Vegas?

MONA
(EDGING IN CLOSER)
Ooh -- I like where this is going.

TONY
What about Vegas?

ANGELA
Nothing. We flew in, flew back. Swish-swoosh.

TONY
Wait a minute. Something happened between the swish and the swoosh.

ANGELA
All right, all right. We played some blackjack, got married, pigged out at the smorgasbord. Oh, and we saw Wayne Newton.

(AS THE NEWS REGISTERS, DEAD SILENCE. THEN)

TONY
That's funny, Angela, for a minute there I thought you said "got married."

BRIAN
We did.

(ANOTHER BEAT OF SILENCE)

MONA
I don't believe it. You?!

TONY
Married? Like with the minister and the bible and the ring and the "I do"?

(ANGELA NODS MEEKLY)

MONA
I don't believe it!

ANGELA
Neither did we. So the next day Brian flew to Mexico, and had it annulled.

TONY
Boy, you clean a person's house for five years and you think you know her.

ANGELA
It was the craziest thing I ever did, but now that it's out in the open, I can put it behind me and we can all have a good laugh.
(SHE FORCES A LAUGH)

BRIAN
We're still married.

(ANGELA'S LAUGHTER STOPS ABRUPTLY)

ANGELA
That's funny. For a minute there I thought you said, "We're still married."

TONY
He did.

BRIAN
I went to Vegas to marry my fiancee Rhonda, and the license bureau told me that we're still married.

ANGELA
But I signed the papers, you went to Tijuana.

BRIAN
But I never read them. They were processed by the Mexican Sanitation Bureau by mistake. Here's the English version.

(TONY TAKES THE PAPER FROM BRIAN)

ANGELA
What does this all mean?

TONY
It means you're a married woman.
(LOOKS AT PAPERS)
With permission to install a thousand-gallon septic tank. In Mexicali.

ANGELA
Oh my God!

MONA
Hot damn! All those years you were married to Michael, you were a bigamist.

TONY
Yeah, how can you get away with it and Brian here can't?

ANGELA
I don't know. I guess Connecticut doesn't check with Nevada every time somebody gets married.

MONA
Then what are we paying taxes for?

BRIAN
Don't worry, Angela. I've got new papers ready. Just have them notarized and I can fly back to Vegas and into Rhonda's arms.

ANGELA
Thank God. And thank you, Brian. I'll have them notarized first thing tomorrow.

BRIAN
Great. Well, it's late. I should go. Could you recommend a motel in the area?

MONA
Forget it. You're practically family. We'll put you up here.

TONY
That is, if it's okay with the Mrs.
(TONY GRINS AT ANGELA. SHE HESITATES A BEAT, THEN NODS AN "OKAY")

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE

SCENE TWO
(Tony, Brian, Angela)

INT. LIVING ROOM - SEVERAL HOURS LATER
(BRIAN IS ON THE COUCH DIALING THE PHONE. TONY COMES DOWNSTAIRS)

TONY
Oops. Don't let me interrupt.

BRIAN
(HANGING UP)
You're not. Rhonda's line is busy.

TONY
I was just going to get some milk. I can't seem to sleep tonight.

BRIAN
Well, how about a book of my poems. That'll put you right out.

(THEY SHARE A LAUGH. TONY PULLS UP A CHAIR NEXT TO BRIAN)

TONY
So, Brian -- can I ask you something? What was Angela like twenty years ago? I mean, it's not like Angela to run off like that -- she's so conservative.

BRIAN
Yes -- on the surface. But you know what can happen when women like her shed their inhibitions.

TONY
(SMILING AND NUDGING BRIAN)
You're darn tootin', I do.
(THEN SERIOUS)
But tell me anyway.

BRIAN
They can become volcanos of passion.

TONY
Angela?

BRIAN
Oh yes. Aggressive, spontaneous, incredibly sensual.

TONY
Angela Bower?
(BRIAN NODS. NOW TONY'S SUPER CURIOUS)
So what got her...volcano-ized?

BRIAN
I'm not sure.

TONY
(EMPHATICALLY)
Think, man, think!

BRIAN
Well, I guess it was poetry that unlocked her passion. After one of my readings, I looked up and there she was -- sitting on her beanbag chair, a single tear trickling down her cheek.

TONY
Poetry, huh? Did it rhyme?

BRIAN
Only visually.

TONY
(CONFUSED)
Oh, yeah. One of those.

BRIAN
The next thing we knew, we were on a plane to Vegas.
(A BEAT)
May I get myself something to drink?

TONY
(LOST IN THOUGHT)
Yeah, sure.

BRIAN
(AS HE CROSSES TO KITCHEN, HE STOPS, TURNS)
I guess if you say the right words to a woman like Angela, there's a fire there waiting to consume you.

(BRIAN EXITS. AN AROUSED TONY THINKS FOR A BEAT)

ANGELA (O.C.)
Tony? Are you downstairs?

(HE LEAPS TO THE FOOT OF THE STAIRS)

TONY
Yes, it is I, Angela!

(ANGELA COMES DOWN IN A ROBE. HER HAIR'S A MESS AND SHE'S YAWNING. TONY STARES AT HER, LOOKING FOR BRIAN'S VOLCANO)

ANGELA
Tomorrow I have to go to the notary, so could you -- you're looking at me funny.

TONY
Am I?
(HE KEEPS STARING)

ANGELA
You're still looking at me funny.

TONY
I know I'm looking...but I just don't see it.

(BRIAN ENTERS WITH DRINKS)

BRIAN
Oh, Angela, I'm glad you're here. You people have been so hospitable, I'd like to take you out to dinner before my flight.

TONY
Terrific. I'll be the honored guest at your divorce reception. But don't expect presents.
(AS HE EXITS UPSTAIRS)
'Nighty,-night.
(TURNS BACK AND TAKES ONE LAST LOOK AT ANGELA, AND THEN TO HIMSELF)
I still don't see it.

(ANGELA AND BRIAN ARE ALONE TOGETHER -- FOR THE FIRST TIME. THERE IS A MOMENT OF AWKWARDNESS, THEN)

BRIAN
Well...
(PICKING UP THE PHONE)
I'd better try Rhonda again.

ANGELA
And I'm on my way upstairs.

(BRIAN DIALS THE PHONE. ANGELA GRABS A MAGAZINE TO TAKE UPSTAIRS, THEN FLIPS HER HAIR BACK WITH HER HANDS)

BRIAN
Oh my.

ANGELA
What?

BRIAN
The way you flipped your hair back. Just like Rhonda. Very sensually. You know, in a lot of ways you two are very alike.

ANGELA
Really? She sounds delightful. Well...
(SHE PURPOSEFULLY FLIPS HER HAIR BACK AS SHE DID BEFORE)
Good night.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE

SCENE THREE
(Tony, Brian, Angela, Waiter)

INT. AIRPORT RESTAURANT - NEXT EVENING
(TONY SITS BETWEEN ANGELA AND BRIAN IN A BOOTH AT A CASUAL EATERY AT THE AIRPORT. A WAITER FINISHES FILLING THEIR WINE GLASSES, THEN EXITS)

TONY
May I propose a toast?
(RAISING HIS GLASS)
To not living happily ever after.

(THEY LAUGH, CLINK GLASSES, AND DRINK)

ANGELA
Ooh. That's strange. I've just had this weird sense that I've been here before.

TONY
You mean deja vu?

ANGELA
Exactly.

TONY
(AS HE SAID IT BEFORE)
You mean deja vu?
(LAUGHING)
I love doing that.

SFX: DISTANT AIRPLANE NOISE

ANGELA
The airplanes. Now I know what it is. Brian, look around and think back.

BRIAN
(HE DOES SO)
You're right. It's uncanny.

ANGELA
It's just like the place we ate at while waiting for our flight to Vegas. Candlelight, a cozy booth, the noise of the planes --

TONY
And a hearty hi-ho Silver!
(HE LAUGHS)
I'm in a silly mood. Just ignore me.

ANGELA
You want to know something?

TONY
Sure, what?

ANGELA
I was talking to Brian.

TONY
Oh, sorry. Go on.

ANGELA
I still have your poem memorized. That little one you wrote for me while we waited for our flight.

BRIAN
(EXTREMELY FLATTERED)
You know, you're the only one who understood my poetry. It was beyond the common rabble.

TONY
(NOT WANTING TO BE CONFUSED WITH RABBLE)
Yeah, that rabble really ticks me off. So, let's hear it.

ANGELA
I didn't think you were interested in poetry.

TONY
I've written poetry. I was the poet laureate of Pitkin High.

ANGELA
Really? I'd love to read some.

TONY
(SHAKING HIS HEAD "NO")
I'm sure the janitor's wiped down that stall by now...But let's hear yours.

ANGELA
(RECITING WITH EMOTION)
"India ink stained, heart kneeling; Fragments structure lamplight dust."

(TONY NODS AS IF HE GETS IT)
TONY
Very nice. Very visual.
(TO BRIAN)
Did she get the words in the right order?

BRIAN
I think this talk of the past is boring Tony.

ANGELA
You're right. I'm sorry, Tony.

TONY
Eh...I'll survive.
(HE SMILES AND LOOKS AT HIS MENU)
So what are you guys getting? I'm going for the pasta.

ANGELA
It was freezing cold.

TONY
Vegas again?

ANGELA
(TO BRIAN)
That's why we ate at the airport. To warm ourselves up. Remember?

BRIAN
It was the wine that did the trick.

ANGELA
We got very warm, very fast.

BRIAN
Burning hot. Virtually aflame.

ANGELA
We even started playing footsies.

(AS BRIAN AND ANGELA SMILE AND SIP THEIR WINE, TONY QUICKLY MANEUVERS HIMSELF TO SEE IF THEY'RE PLAYING FOOTSIES. HE'S SATISFIED THEY ARE NOT)

TONY
Okay. We should probably talk less and look at our menus more, because planes don't wait. Right, Angela?

ANGELA
They sure don't.
(THEN, WITHOUT A PAUSE)
When we came out the restaurant...
(TONY SLAPS HIS MENU SHUT IN FRUSTRATION)
...We were separated for a minute.

BRIAN
You were upstairs.

ANGELA
And you were downstairs. I looked for you.

BRIAN
I waited for you.

ANGELA
I ran to the stairs.

TONY
(IMPATIENTLY RATTLING IT OFF)
You called his name, he looked up, you came down, you embraced, fun story, let's order!

ANGELA
Why are you so cranky?

TONY
I get cranky when I'm hungry! You know that.

ANGELA
Well cool it. It's the last chance I'll have to talk to a man with whom I shared an unforgettable experience.

(BRIAN SCOOTS TOWARD ANGELA, SQUISHING UP AGAINST TONY IN THE PROCESS)
BRIAN
Angela, you've moved me tonight -- remembering our weekend so fondly...and you still had my poem memorized. It's incredible.

TONY
(IMPOSING HIMSELF)
It really is, because I can't memorize anything. When I played ball, I couldn't remember if this meant bunt...
(HE WIPES HIS BROW)
Or this...
(HE PATS HIS CHEST)

BRIAN
I think I'm in love with you.

ANGELA
(STUNNED)
What did you say?

BRIAN
You heard me. I think I love you.

(ANGELA IS SPEECHLESS A BEAT, THEN)

TONY
So finally I said "Coach, just yell bunt and hope the other team doesn't hear."
(HE LAUGHS HALF-HEARTEDLY)

ANGELA
(TO BRIAN)
You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding.

BRIAN
I wasn't expecting this, either. But love is so rare -- you have to grab it while you can.
(HE PULLS OUT A SHEAF OF PAPERS)

ANGELA
What are you doing? Those are our divorce papers.
(TONY AND ANGELA WATCH IN DISBELIEF AS BRIAN RIPS THEM DOWN THE MIDDLE)
Were the divorce papers!

TONY
Get ahold of yourself, Brian! You're flying back to Rhonda in less than an hour.
(BRIAN TAKES HIS PLANE TICKET AND RIPS IT DOWN THE MIDDLE)
Your cabin attendant's not going to like that.

(BRAIN SETS THE PAPERS ON FIRE, USING THE CANDLE ON THE TABLE)
BRIAN
Hence shall rise the Phoenix of our new life.
(ANGELA AND TONY STARE AT THE FIRE DUMBSTRUCK)
Say something, Angela. Say what's in your heart!

ANGELA
Everybody blow!

(TONY AND ANGELA FURIOUSLY TRY TO BLOW OUT THE FLAMING DIVORCE PAPERS)

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE
(Angela, Mona, Tony, Sam, Jonathan, Brian)

FADE IN:

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY (NEXT MORNING)
(THERE ARE A FEW DOZEN ROSES AND BOXES OF CANDY ABOUT, ALONG WITH SEVERAL SMALL APPLIANCE BOXES. MONA AND SAM ARE PICKING THROUGH IT ALL. TONY AND ANGELA COME DOWNSTAIRS AND SEE IT ALL)

ANGELA
Oh no.

MONA
Love that son-in-law of mine.

ANGELA
It's all going back, people. The candy, the flowers -- ooh, an espresso maker.

TONY
It all goes back!

ANGELA
Right. Everything.

MONA
I'll take it if you don't.

TONY
Try helping for once Mona.

MONA
I'm his mother-in-law. He owes me two decades of gifts. This'll take us through the Nixon years.

SAMANTHA
He left messages on everything. These cool little poems.
(READING THE NOTE ON THE FLOWERS)
"As roses bloom, so shall our bliss."
(OFF THE CANDY)
"Sugar sours in your sweet shadow."

MONA
Lovely.
(OFF APPLIANCE BOX)
What's it say on that box?

SAMANTHA
(READING NOTE)
"Needs three-prong adapter, I'll send one later."

TONY
Move over, Walt Whitman.

(JONATHAN ENTERS FROM KITCHEN)
JONATHAN
(CONFRONTING ANGELA)
We need to talk, Mom.

ANGELA
What is it, honey?

JONATHAN
Dad's in California, Brian's your husband, and Tony's like a dad. Who do I call what?

ANGELA
I know it's strange, sweetheart. Just bear with it for a while.

JONATHAN
Okay but be careful -- this is the type of Freudian situation that could harm a child's psyche.
(JONATHAN EXITS)

ANGELA
Mother, did you tell him that?

MONA
It came up in conversation.

ANGELA
What did I do to deserve this?

TONY
You don't know?
(A LA ANGELA, HANDS PRESSED TO HEART)
"I still have your poem memorized: India ink...stained my pants, kneeling on my lamp." Sheesh.

ANGELA
So you think I led him on?

TONY
I said "sheesh." Can't you read between the lines?

SFX: DOORBELL
(SAM PEEKS THROUGH WINDOW)

SAMANTHA
(SING-SONG)
Oh, Angela...Guess who's here? "The Hubby Who Wouldn't Die."

TONY
I'll get rid of him.
(HE HEADS FOR THE DOOR)

ANGELA
No, Tony. We're gong to be nice to him.

TONY
(INCREDULOUS)
Nice?! Why?!
(RE: GIFTS)
You holding out for a crock pot?

ANGELA
(AS SHE CROSSES TO DOOR)
Look, we don't need to hurt him. He's a fragile, delicate, sensitive soul.

TONY
He's a nut!
(ANGELA OPENS THE DOOR TO BRIAN)

BRIAN
Hello, Angela. Can we talk?

ANGELA
Yes please. We do need to talk.

(MONA, SAM AND TONY ALL TAKE SEATS; BRIAN LOOKS AT THEM)

BRIAN
Can we be alone?

TONY
Uh, sorry, Bry. I have to stay by this phone. I'm expecting a call.

SAMANTHA
I am, too.

(THEY LOOK TO MONA)

MONA
I just want to hear this.

BRIAN
Fine. It doesn't matter. Look, Angela -- I know I came on strong last night. But I'm thinking a lot more clearly this morning --

ANGELA
Oh, thank God.

TONY
Ditto, God.

BRIAN
And there's something I have to say: "You stir form silence, exalt my soul, You are winged grace personified..."
(SAM AND MONA SIGH DREAMILY. TONY GLARES AT THEM)
"Acacias bloom in mystic shroud, For you, the goddess personified."

(ANGELA SIGHS DEEPLY -- A MOMENTARY LAPSE)

TONY
Angela...

ANGELA
(RECOVERING)
Sorry.

TONY
(TO BRIAN)
What exactly are you saying?

ANGELA
Tony, he's saying that there's no mountain high enough, no valley low enough, no river wide enough --

MONA/SAM
(SINGING)
"To keep him from getting you, babe."
(THEY DO A MOTOWN DANCE MOVE)

BRIAN
Exactly.

TONY
He's a nut.

ANGELA
Brian, think about what you're doing...

BRIAN
But you went on and on about our weekend.

BRIAN
Well then, the other night -- why did you flip your hair? Twice?

TONY
You flipped your hair? Twice?

ANGELA
I didn't use styling mousse this morning and you know how floppy it gets.
(SHE DEMONSTRATES WITH A FLIP)

BRIAN
Oh my.

TONY
(TO ANGELA)
Stop that!

ANGELA
This is ridiculous. Brian, what about Rhonda?

TONY
Remember? Your beautiful, blushing bride, stranded at the Chapel of Love.

(MONA AND SAM START TO SING THE OPENING OF "GOING TO THE CHAPEL")
MONA/SAMANTHA
"GOIN' TO THE CHAPEL AND WE'RE -- '

TONY
Cool it.

BRIAN
Rhonda's a wonderful person. And I felt horrible telling her that the marriage was off, but I love my wife.

MONA

Isn't that refreshing in today's world?

ANGELA

Look, Brian, I am not your wife. You're a dear, sweet man, and we share dear sweet memories. But that's where it ends.
(SHE HOLDS HER HEAD IN FRUSTRATION)

BRIAN
"Oh, that I might be a glove up on that hand. That I might touch that cheek..."
(AS BRIAN HEADS FOR THE DOOR)
I'll give you a buzz later.
(HE EXITS)

ANGELA
What are we going to do now?

TONY
I don't know. You told him you don't want him. You won't let me beat him up.

ANGELA
I'm at my wit's end.

TONY
You? How do you think Rhonda feels, sitting in her white dress, holding a cup of nickels, pulling a one-arm bandit.

(BEAT. THEN ANGELA AND TONY LOOK AT EACH OTHER)
ANGELA/TONY
Rhonda.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO

SCENE TWO
(Angela, Mona, Rhonda, Tony, Brian)

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - THAT EVENING
(MONA IS ON THE COUCH STUFFING HER FACE WITH CHOCOLATES FROM AN EXPENSIVE ASSORTMENT)

SFX: DOORBELL RINGS

MONA
Angela, doorbell!
(ANGELA ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN)
By the way, Brian sent you another box of chocolates.
(SHE THROWS AWAY THE EMPTY BOX)
Tell him next time -- jewelry.

(ANGELA OPENS THE DOOR TO RHONDA, AN ATTRACTIVE, FUNKY WOMAN IN HER TWENTIES)

RHONDA
You must be Angela.

MONA
(TO RHONDA)
You must be freaked.

ANGELA
(TO MONA)
You must be going.

MONA
You must be kidding.

ANGELA
This is my mother, Mona.
(TONY ENTERS FROM KITCHEN WITH HORS D'OEUVRES)
And my housekeeper, Tony.

RHONDA
Hello. Angela, I want to thank you for getting in touch with me. I've been so upset since I got that call from Brian.

TONY
Yeah, I'll bed you'd like to beat the couplets out of him.

RHONDA
Oh, no, I could never hurt Brian. He's such a romantic, sensitive, delicate soul.

TONY
Boy, some guys get all the adjectives.

RHONDA
I don't understand how Brian could do such a thing. The night he proposed at the observatory, he gave me this.

(RHONDA PULLS OUT A PIECE OF PAPER AND HANDS IT TO ANGELA)

ANGELA
"You stir from silence, exalt my soul You are winged grace personified..."

TONY
(SOTTO TO ANGELA)
He gets a lot of mileage out of that thing.

SFX: DOORBELL RINGS

MONA
Oh goody. Showtime.
(SHE LOOKS FOR A PLACE TO SIT)
I think I'll sit here.

ANGELA
Mother, out.

MONA
(GRUMBLING)
I always miss the good stuff.
(TO RHONDA, AS SHE EXITS)
Honey, whatever you do, keep the ring.

(MONA EXITS. ANGELA OPENS THE DOOR TO BRIAN)

BRIAN
Angela, I came as soon as I got your message. I knew you'd change your mind.
(THEN NOTICING RHONDA)
Rhonda.

RHONDA
Brian.

BRIAN
(SURPRISED TO ANGELA)
You didn't say Rhonda would be here.

ANGELA
But she is. And you're going to talk with her. You owe her that much.

BRIAN

I'm sorry, Rhonda. This was my wife's idea.

RHONDA
Brian, I love you, but I'm not going to beg. Is this what you really want?

(BRIAN LOOKS AT ANGELA, THEN BACK AT RHONDA, WHO NERVOUSLY FLIPS HER HAIR)
BRIAN
Oh, my.
(A BEAT AS TONY CATCHES BRIAN'S REACTION)

TONY
Hey, Rhonda, how exactly did Brian propose to you at the observatory?

RHONDA
I was under Venus.

(BEAT)

TONY
And where were you, Bry?

BRIAN
I was under Mars.
(TO RHONDA)
And then I looked into your eyes.

RHONDA
And I into yours.

BRIAN
And then we kissed under Orion's Belt.

(BRIAN AND RHONDA KISS. ANGELA LOOKS ON)

TONY
(TO ANGELA)
I think you got your divorce.

(THEY BREAK THEIR KISS)

BRIAN
(TO RHONDA)
Will you ever forgive me?

RHONDA
Of course.

BRIAN
(TO ANGELA)
Will you ever forgive me?

ANGELA
Of course.

(BRIAN TURNS TO TONY. TONY STOPS HIM WITH A LOOK. BRIAN AND RHONDA HEAD FOR THE DOOR)

BRIAN
You know, I'm a lucky man. Some people never fall in love. I got to do it twice.

TONY

Boy, some guys get all the girls.

(BRIAN AND RHONDA EXIT)

TONY
All right, we did it! You're a free woman. Brian is out of your life for good!
(ANGELA SINKS DOWN ON THE COUCH)
(NOTICING ANGELA'S ATTITUDE)
You don't look happy.

ANGELA
(MONOTONE)
I'm extremely happy.

TONY
No, you're not. Angela, what's going on?

ANGELA
He's gone. Brian's gone.

TONY
That's what you wanted...Isn't it?
(TONY SITS NEXT TO HER)
Come clean here, Angela. You've acted weird ever since he arrived. As if you do have feelings for him.

ANGELA
(ASSUREDLY)
I don't.

TONY

Then what's with you?

ANGELA
I don't quite understand this myself...When I say he's gone, I'm not talking about that Brian. I'm talking about this Brian.
(SHE POINTS TO THE SIDE OF HER HEAD)

TONY
You call your left ear Brian?

ANGELA
No. The one from my memories. You see...I sort of made Brian into what I wanted him to be -- my very own poet knight. Whenever life seemed bleak, I'd picture him sweeping down and whisking me away...And now after these past few days, after seeing the real Brian, my poet knight is gone...For good...Does this make any sense?

TONY
(NODS YES, THEN)
No.

ANGELA
I just wonder if there'll ever be another last-minute flight. A walk in the desert. Poetry.

(OUT OF VIEW ANGELA, TONY PULLS OUT A PIECE OF PAPER AND CLEARS HIS THROAT. HE READS)
TONY
"Ode to Angela."
In common things I'm reminded of her:
The sun, the moon, the stars, yes sir.
(ANGELA SMILES, APPRECIATING THE RHYME)
And in the garden,
All of nature sings to her.
The birds, the bees, the sycamore trees.
And the snails,
O, those snails
leave their glistening trails...
(ANGELA GRIMACES)
Beetles, bedbugs --

ANGELA
Say, Tony. Maybe I should quit poetry cold turkey. For now.

TONY
Okay. it's not finished, anyway. Did you like it?

ANGELA
I loved it.

(SHE KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK AND EXITS. TONY REMAINS DEEP IN THOUGHT. THEN)

TONY
(SNAPPING HIS FINGERS)
Beetles, bedbugs, spider mites,
Might I love thee day and night.
(THEN)
Ooh, I'm good.
(HE GRABS A PEN AND WRITES FURIOUSLY)

FADE OUT

END OF ACT TWO

TAG
(Tony, Angela)

FADE IN:

INT. KITCHEN - THAT NIGHT
(ANGELA IS AT THE TABLE DRINKING SOME WATER AS TONY CLEANS)

ANGELA
What a day.

TONY
Yeah, I bed you never thought you'd feel so good about getting a divorce.

(TONY SITS AT THE TABLE)

ANGELA
And to think it all started with a little poetry, some wine, and some footsies.

TONY
I get the poetry and the wine, but that footsie stuff never did it for me.

ANGELA
Oh yeah?
(SHE TAKES HER FOOT AND RUNS IT UP AND DOWN HIS LEG)

TONY
Nothing.

ANGELA
Nothing?
(SHE DOES IT AGAIN)

TONY
Nada.

ANGELA
Well, good night.

(SHE EXITS. TONY HOLDS FOR A BEAT, TAKES A GLASS OF WATER AND THROWS IT IN HIS FACE)

FREEZE FRAME

END OF TAG