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75. There Goes the Bride [ - ]
by jasonc_wtbr
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Transcript from the "Final Draft" script of There Goes the Bride.

Who's the Boss?
Episode #75. There Goes the Bride

Please note that this is a transcript of the actual There Goes the Bride script (final draft). As such, there may be some differences from the aired version.

Final Draft
June 3, 1987

WHO'S THE BOSS?

"There Goes the Bride"

Executive Producer
Blake Hunter
and
Martin Cohan

Produced by
Howard Meyers
and
John Anderson

Directed by
Asaad Kelada

Written by
John Donley
&
Clay Graham

Episode: #0401
Tape: June 5, 1987

CAST

TONY MICELLI...................TONY DANZA
ANGELA BOWER...............JUDITH LIGHT
MONA ROBINSON...KATHERINE HELMOND
SAMANTHA MICELLI.......ALYSSA MILANO
JONATHAN BOWER......DANNY PINTAURO
LYLE EVERETT....................JIM SLOYAN
CHRISTY............................KARI LIZER
MINISTER....................RICHARD FANCY
GARY.........................SCOTCH BYERLEY

SETS

INT. LIVING ROOM
INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM
INT. HOCKEY RINK STANDS

"There Goes the Bride"

ACT ONE
SCENE ONE

(Tony, Angela, Samantha, Mona, Lyle, Christy)

FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - EVENING

(TONY IS LOOKING IN MIRROR, CHECKING HIMSELF OUT. HE'S CASUALLY DRESSED IN JEANS AND A SWEATER. ANGELA COMES DOWNSTAIRS, DRESSED TO THE NINES)

TONY
Ooh, hey, Angela, you look fantastic.

ANGELA
And you look -- is that what you're going to wear?

TONY
The socks are wrong. I knew it.

ANGELA
I thought a jacket and tie were required at L'Etoile.

TONY
Oh, didn't I mention that I cancelled that reservation and made one at the Boar's Head Pub?

ANGELA
The Boar's Head Pub? For a blind date? I chose L'Etoile because of it's [SP]...
(SEARCHING FOR THE WORD)
Ambiance.

TONY
The Boar's Head Pub has ambiance. You can throw your peanut shells on the floor.

ANGELA
Sounds charming. I hope they have spittoons.

TONY
Oh, yeah. Real brass. Come on, Angela we want to set an example for Lyle and Christy. We've got to act like we get along.

ANGELA
I sure hope this works out. You think fixing them up was a good idea?

TONY
Hey, your cousing, my old buddy -- it's a lock.

(SHE STARTS TO ADJUST HIS SWEATER, AS MONA AND SAMANTHA ENTER FRONT DOOR WITH SHOPPING BAGS AND OVERHEAR THE FOLLOWING)

ANGELA
I don't know, I'm just a little nervous about tonight. We've never done anything like this before.

TONY
Don't worry about it. If the sparks fly -- that's terrific. If they don't, well, at least we gave romance a shot.

MONA
Well, it's about time. After three years of heavy breathing... on my part.

SAMANTHA
You two crazy kids. I want you to know you have my approval.

ANGELA
Oh, you thought we were going out?

TONY
Us?

(TONY AND ANGELA EXCHANGE A CHUCKLE)

MONA
Oh, no, I shouldn've known. You better not wait too long, Angela. You'll be out of warranty.

ANGELA
For your information, Mother, we're fixing up Tony's friend Lyle with Christy.

SAMANTHA
Lyle?

MONA
Christy?

TONY
What's wrong with Christy?

ANGELA
What's wrong with Lyle?

SAMANTHA
(TO MONA)
He's such a fungus.

ANGELA
Fungus?

SAMANTHA
(CONTINUES TO MONA)
All he ever talks about is sports and medicine.

TONY
Maybe that's because he's a sports doctor.

SAMANTHA
What a lame excuse.

MONA
If you think he's bad, wait till you meet Christy. She's thirty years old and she's only had three dates. That's a date a decade.

TONY
A decade?

ANGELA
Mother, how can you insult her like that? She's a member of your family.

MONA
So are you, dear.

(MONA EXITS)

SAMANTHA
Don't worry, guys. It'll work out. You know what they say, "Nerds of a feather"...

(SAMANTHA LAUGHS AND EXITS UPSTAIRS)

TONY
You mean it's her first date in the eighties?

ANGELA
No, it's her second. She didn't have any dates in the sixties.

TONY
Oh, good. She's on a roll.

ANGELA
Some people are just a little discriminating about the kind of fungus they go out with.

SFX: DOORBELL

TONY
(TONY CROSSES TO THE DOOR, OPENS IT TO LYLE, AN AVERAGE-LOOKING GUY IN HIS LATE-30'S)
Hey, Doc!

LYLE
Hey, Tony!

TONY
Come on in.
(LYLE ENTERS)
Angela, this is Doctor Lyle Everett, M.D., Ph.D, and all around fun guy.

(THEY SHAKE HANDS)

ANGELA
Funghi? So I've heard. Nice to meet you, Lyle.

LYLE
Good firm handshake. Does Tony have you pumping iron?

ANGELA
Oh, no. I don't even pump my own gas.

LYLE
So, how's the shoulder?

TONY
Great.
(TO ANGELA)
I really owe this guy. When I threw out my shoulder playing ball, he did the operation. Before the surgery I couldn't even do...
(RAISING AN ARM)
Oww...
(OFF LYLE'S REACTION)
Just pulling your femur.

ANGELA
You guys.

TONY
So, Lyle, how was your day?

LYLE
A killer. It's the playoffs. I repaired four defensemen and two goalies. THe last guy, he had a rather interesting problem. He'd been diagnosed as having a sprained tibalis posterior. But, after careful examination, I realized what he had was a hairline fracture of the metatarsals.

(A BEAT)

ANGELA
Amazing.

SFX: DOORBELL

ANGELA (CONT'D)
(SING-SONG)
Oh, I wonder who that is?

(ANGELA CROSSES TO THE DOOR)

TONY
I've heard some great things about this gal. This is her decade.

(ANGELA OPENS THE DOOR TO CHRISTY, IN HER LATE TWENTIES, CUTE, AN AIR OF INSECURITY)

ANGELA
Hi, Christy. Come on in. You look great.

CHRISTY
I do?

(SHE ENTERS)

TONY
Christy, I'm Tony. I'd like you to meet Lyle Everett, world famous jock doc.

(CHRISTY BLUSHES)

CHRISTY
(SHYLY)
Hi.

LYLE
(SUDDENLY SHY)
Hi.

TONY
(ASIDE TO ANGELA, ENTHUSIASTICALLY)
Boy, they're really hitting it off.

CHRISTY
I'm sorry I'm late.

ANGELA
You're not lat.e In fact you're a little early.

CHRISTY
Oh, am I too early? Traffic was a little light. I'm sorry.

TONY
Hey, no problem. Relax.

CHRISTY
I'm apologizing too much, aren't I? I'm sorry...

TONY
Okay! Well, we still got a while before we have to leave -- so why don't we sit down here and have some more laughs.

(HE LAUGHS, ANGELA JOINS IN, AND THEY ALL HEAD OVER TO SOFA AREA. TONY STARTS TO SIT ON SOFA. ANGELA STOPS HIM)

ANGELA
Lyle and Christy can sit there.
(POINTEDLY)
It's much more conversational.

(LYLE AND CHRISTY SIT ON THE SOFA. DEAD SILENCE. TONY AND ANGELA SIT IN CHAIRS)

TONY
So -- you know, Christy, Lyle here is one of the top doctors in Sports Medicine. He had a fascinating day today. Tell us about it, Doc.

LYLE
(QUICKLY)
This guy had a busted foot and I fixed it.

TONY
See what I mean? And, to make him even more interesting, he's the team physician for the New York Rangers.

ANGELA
Isn't that a coincidence? Christy's a kindergarten teacher in the New York public school system.

TONY
Small world, isn't it?

ANGELA
A school teacher -- that must be very challenging work.

CHRISTY
I guess.

TONY
I'll bet you've got a lot of fascinating stories.

CHRISTY
No.

(THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE)

TONY
Boy, this is great, huh? Good company, good conversation --
(LOOKS AT WATCH)
-- and the night is just beginning.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE TWO

(Tony, Angela, Lyle, Christy)

EST. SHOT - BOWER HOUSE - MORNING
INT. LIVING ROOM - NEXT MORNING

(TONY LIFTS THE COUCH AND VACUUMS UNDER IT. ANGELA COMES DOWNSTAIRS IN HER ROBE)

ANGELA
Good morning.

TONY
Morning.

ANGELA
What are you doing up so early?

TONY
I got all the sleep I needed during that date last night.

ANGELA
Come on, Tony, it wasn't so bad. I saw the way he put his arms around her.

TONY
Angela, that was the Heimlich Maneuver. SHe was choking on a mouth full of mutton.

ANGELA
But he maneuvered her very tenderly. I'm telling you, Tony, if you looked closely they were really connecting.

TONY
What connecting? They said three things to each other all night. Hello, goodbye, and...
(POINTS TO HIS THROAT AND PRETENDS TO CHOKE)
...I'm choking.

SFX: DOORBELL RINGING

(TONY OPENS THE DOOR TO LYLE AND CHRISTY)

LYLE
We've got something we can't wait to tell you.

CHRISTY
But if this is a bad time, we can come back later.

ANGELA
Come in, come in.

CHRISTY
Go ahead, Lyle, tell them.

LYLE
No, you tell them.

CHRISTY
Oh, okay --
(THEN)
You better tell them.

LYLE
NO, YOU --

TONY
Why don't you flip a coin.
(LYLE REACHES INTO HIS POCKET)
Just tell us!

CHRISTY
(HOLDS UP HER ENGAGEMENT RING)
We're getting married.

TONY
Ooohhh, serious karats.

LYLE
Oh, just a couple of ligament operations.

(CHRISTY LAUGHS)

CHRISTY
He breaks me up.

ANGELA
I knew it. I knew it. I knew I was right.

TONY
You guys really move fast. What happened, Doc?

LYLE
Something wonderful, something magical. Christy sprained her ankle.

TONY
You mean when you tripped on the spittoon?

CHRISTY
No, on the cab ride home my foot got caught in the jump seat.

ANGELA
Sounds like kismet.

LYLE
Kismet was three hours later when her ankle swelled up.

CHRISTY
And he made a house call.

LYLE
Well technically it was a condo call.

CHRISTY
You're right, dear.

TONY
So, what'd you do then, old buddy?

LYLE
First I applied a cold compress, and then I elevated the ankle --

TONY
I mean, what happened between you and Christy?

LYLE
We started talking and laughing, and we stayed up all night getting to know each other. Christy's a great teacher. She's got finger painiting anecdotes that'll slay you.

CHRISTY
(EMBARRASSED)
Oh, Lyle.

TONY
Congratulations you two.

ANGELA
Welcome to the family, cousin-in-law.

TONY
Deep down I always knew it would work.
(OFF ANGELA'S LOOK)
Very deep down.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE THREE (A)

(Angela, Christy, Mona)

INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON (FEW DAYS LATER)

(ANGELA AND MONA ARE WITH CHRISTY, WHO'S WEARING A WEDDING GOWN. THEY ARE LOOKING IN A MIRROR AND ANGELA ADJUSTS CHRISTY'S VEIL)

MONA
Smile, dear.

(MONA SNAPS A PICTURE)

CHRISTY
I am smiling.

ANGELA
You're going to make a lovely bride.

CHRISTY
Thank you.

ANGELA
(NUDGING MONA)
Mother...

MONA
Ditto.

CHRISTY
And I want to thank you for introducing me to Lyle. He's a wonderful man. Thank you. I just can't thank you enough.

MONA
Believe me, you can.

CHRISTY
And I want to thank you again for inviting us to have the wedding here...

ANGELA
(QUICKLY)
You're welcome.
(LOOKS CHRISTY OVER)
Well, it looks like you're about ready. We've got something old, something new, something borrowed...oh, we need something blue.

CHRISTY
(LIFTS UP HER LEG)
My ankle. Lyle told me that one.

MONA
So, do you have any questions for your Aunt Mona about what happens after the wedding?

CHRISTY
No questions. Lyle and I have a book.

MONA
Oh, good. Does it have pop-ups?

(MONA, WITH CAMERA, EXITS)

ANGELA
Oh, Christy this is going to be a perfect wedding. I ordered a cake from Antoine's, the flowers from the Blossom Botique, the book from B. Dalton's. And Lyle looks so handsome. He's down there just counting the seconds till he sees his beautiful bride.

CUT TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE THREE (B)

(Lyle, Tony, Minister, Samantha, Mona, Angela, Gary, Jonathan, Extras)

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

(DECORATED FOR A WEDDING. A RENTAL ORGAN IS OFF TO ONE SIDE. RENTAL CHAIRS ARE SET UP. TONY, SAM, LYLE, A MINISTER AND A COUPLE OF HOCKEY JOCKS ARE WATCHING A HOCKEY GAME ON TV)

SFX: CROWD NOISE

(JONATHAN IS IN THE BACKGROUND SERVING HORS D'OEUVRES TO A COUPLE OF GUESTS)

LYLE
Oh, no! A minute-thirty to go and he gets nailed!

TONY
Don't worry, we can ride out the penalty.

MINISTER
Oh, Lord, I hope so.

SAMANTHA
What's going to happen now?

TONY
(KILLING THE SOUND WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL)
There's going to be a rush to the bath room. It's a commercial.

MINISTER
Thank God.
(HE EXITS TOWARD BATHROOM)

LYLE
You know, Tony, this is just how I pictured my wedding day. A beautiful bride, good friends, and a hell of a hockey game. Everything's perfect.

TONY
Tood bad about your honeymoon, or you could make the Ranger game at the Garden tonight.

LYLE
Except for that.

(MONA, WITH CAMERA, COMES DOWN THE STAIRS)

MONA
All right, the wedding photographer is here. It's time to preserve those beautiful memories.

LYLE
Would you like a shot of me and my best man?

MONA
Later. Take a shot of me with Jean-Claude and Pierre.
(HANDS CAMERA TO TONY AND SQUEEZES BETWEEN THE HOCKEY JOCKS)

TONY
Saw brie.

MONA/GUYS
Brie!

(TONY SNAPS PICTURE)

JONATHAN
Are they allowed to break their sticks on each other's heads?

TONY
Hey, it's back on.
(HE CLICKS SOUND BACK ON)

SFX: CROWD NOISE

(THEY CROWD AROUND SCREEN, PUSHING JONATHAN OUT OF THE WAY. ANGELA ENTERS FROM UPSTAIRS)

ANGELA
Okay, everybody, the bride is ready. It's time to begin.
(NOBODY HEARS HER. SHE WALKS TOWARD TONY AND CLEARS HER THROAT)
As I was saying, the bride is ready and it's time to begin.

MONA
Angela, Christy's been ready for thirty years. A few more seconds won't matter.

ANGELA
Mother, I --

TONY
Don't worry, Angela. The wedding's scheduled to start at 4:00. It's only 3:50 and 10 seconds.

ANGELA
I didn't realize we scheduled a whole wedding around a hockey game.

TONY
Hey, I'm a born organizer.

LYLE
Maybe she's right, Tony.

TONY
How can we start? The organist isn't even here yet.

SFX: DOORBELL

ANGELA
Ha!

(ANGELA OPENS THE DOOR TO GARY, THE ORGANIST)

GARY
Hi, I'm the organist.

ANGELA
Oh, good, you're just in time.

GARY
I know, there's still thirty-eight seconds.
(HE RUSHES TO TV)

TONY
Hey, Gary!

(EVERYONE AD LIBS HELLOS)

ANGELA
All right, everyone. Please take your places.

MONA
(WEDGED BETWEEN JEAN-CLAUDE AND PIERRE)
I'm comfortable right here.
(THE OTHERS BEGIN TO TAKE THEIR PLACES, AS TONY GETS UP TO TURN OFF TV)

TONY
In four seconds, Angela. Three, two --
(REACTS TO SOMETHING ON TV)
Oh, no! They scored!

SAMANTHA
It's going into sudden death!

(EVERYONE REACTS AND HEADS BACK TO TV AS ORGANIST STARTS TO PLAY HOCKEY GAME TYPE MUSIC)

JONATHAN
Oh, no, is it that guy who got hit over the head?

(SAMANTHA GIVES HIM A LOOK)

ANGELA
(DISGUSTED)
I can't believe this.

(EVERYONE REACTS TO PLAY ON TV. ORGANIST PLAYS MORE HOCKEY GAME MUSIC. ANGELA STORMS UPSTAIRS)

CUT TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE THREE (C)

(Angela, Christy)

INT. ANGELA'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

(CHRISTY IS PRIMPING IN MIRROR AS ANGELA MARCHES IN)

ANGELA
You won't believe this, but your wedding is being delayed because of a hockey game!

CHRISTY
Oh, Lyle loves his hockey. It's okay.

ANGELA
It's not okay. This is the most important day of your life.

CHRISTY
Well, that's true.

ANGELA
It should not be put on the backburner because of some Neanderthal sport played with a puck and a stick.

CHRISTY
I never thought of it that way.

ANGELA
Well, think about it.

CHRISTY
If you want me to.

ANGELA
Look, Lyle's taking you for granted. You have to stand up for your needs. Sudden death is no way to start a marriage.

CHRISTY
Maybe you're right...

ANGELA
Of course I am. This is your wedding day. Men know how to take the romance out of everything, and we let them get away with it.

CHRISTY
Why do we do that?

ANGELA
I don't know.

CHRISTY
(FIRMLY)
Well, we shouldn't.

ANGELA
Atta girl.
(CRISTY STARTS OUT)
Christy, where are you going?

CHRISTY
To give Lyle a piece of my mind.

ANGELA
Now?! No, you do that after the wedding.

CUT TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE THREE (D)

(Angela, Christy, Tony, Lyle, Mona, Samantha, Jonathan, Extras)

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

(EVERYONE IS HUDDLED AROUND THE TV)

SFX: CROWD NOISES

SAMANTHA
You call that a body check?!

MONA
I don't know, but check that body.

(CHRISTY COMES DOWNSTAIRS, FOLLOWED BY ANGELA)

ANGELA
(CALLING AFTER HER)
Christy...

(CHRISTY IGNORES HER, APPROACHES THE GROUP)

TONY
Hey, Christy, you look beautiful.

SFX: CROWD NOISES SWELL

TONY (CONT'D)
Did you see that high-stick? Ref, you're a bum!

CHRISTY
Lyle, I'm ready to get married now.

LYLE
(STARING AT TV)
Me, too. Me, too, sweetheart.

CHRISTY
I want to get married right now.

LYLE
Okay, I'm ready, sweetheart.

TONY
(REACTS TO SOMETHING ON TV)
Did you see that?! Gretzky, you're beautiful!

LYLE
What?! What?!

CHRISTY
Lyle, you're ignoring my needs. Sudden death is no way to start a marriage.

LYLE
Honye, could this just wait till it's over.

CHRISTY
It's over.

(CHRISTY STARTS FOR THE DOOR. ANGELA FOLLOWS HER)

ANGELA
Christy, it's just a little delay. Don't do something you'll regret.

CHRISTY
No, there's a principle incolved here. He's putting the most important day of my life on the backburner because of this Neanderthal sport. Good-bye, Angela
(TAKES OFF HER VEIL AND HANDS IT TO ANGELA)
Thank you for a lovely afternoon.

(SHE EXITS)

SFX: A ROAR FROM THE SCREEN

(ALL THE FANS JUMP UP AND AD LIB CHEERS OF VICTORY)

TONY
Well, that about wraps it up. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm in the mood for a wedding.

ANGELA
(HANDING TONY THE VEIL)
Good, then you can marry Lyle.

FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE

(Tony, Angela, Lyle, Minister, Samantha, Christy)

FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - LITTLE WHILE LATER

(TONY IS HOLDING THE FRONT DOOR OPEN AS ANGELA USHERS THE MINISTER OUT. JONATHAN IS HELPING CLEAN UP)

ANGELA
Thank you, Reverend. I'm sure it would have been a lovely ceremony.

TONY
Sorry to drag you out here for nothing.

MINISTER
For nothing?

(ANGELA LOOKS AT TONY)

ANGELA
Excuse us, Reverend.
(SHE PULLS TONY ASIDE, SOTTO)
Tony, you have to pay the man.

TONY
For what? All he did was eat hors d'oeuvres, dring champagne, and watch the hockey game. He should be paying us.

ANGELA
It doesn't work that way. His time is valuable. He could have been cleaning stained-glass windows.

TONY
Okay, so pay him.

ANGELA
Me? You're the best man.

TONY
Yeah, but it's the bride's family who coughts up the bucks. Besides, why should my boy pay? He was ready to got he distance.

ANGELA
All right, all right.
(SHE GETS HER PURSE, PULLS OUT A FEW BILLS AND LOOKS AT THE MINISTER EXPECTANTLY. SHE GIVES HIM ANOTHER BIL)

MINISTER
Bless you.
(HE EXITS. MONA ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN EATING WEDDING CAKE)

MONA
Well, the wedding was a bomb, but this cake hit the spot.
(THEN)
I should have sent Lyle home with apiece.

ANGELA
Gee, I hope the poor guy's going to be okay. He looked really depressed when he left.

TONY
I'll say. He wouldn't even stay for the post-game show.

MONA
Maybe marriage wasn't for him anyway.

TONY
Yeah, I guess it runs in the family. His mother wasn't married either.

JONATHAN
Wait a minute, if his mother wasn't married, where'd he come from?

TONY
St. Louis.

JONATHAN
Oh.
(HE EXITS UPSTAIRS)

TONY
I just don't get it. One minute Christy was a shrinking vilet, the next minute she was Sigourney Weaver.

MONA
It's weird. When I left her upstairs with Angela she seemed...

(TONY AND MONA TURN SLOWLY TO ANGELA, WHO SMILES BACK FEEBLY. TONY AND MONA LOOK AT EACH OTHER)

TONY
We should have known.

ANGELA
I was just trying to light a fire under her. I didn't think she'd explode.

MONA
You can thank your lucky stars my sister is dead, or you'd have a lot of explaining to do.

(MONA EXITS. A BEAT. THEN ANGELA AND TONY START TO CLEAN UP. THERE IS SILENCE IN THE ROOM. AFTER A BEAT)

ANGELA
(SOFTLY UNDER HER BREATH)
Humph.

TONY
What's that supposed to mean?

ANGELA
Nothing.

(ANOTHER BEAT)

TONY
(UNDER HIS BREATH)
Huh.

ANGELA
What did you say?

TONY
Nothing...
(BEAT)
Well, since you asked...I'm just a little disappointed in you.

ANGELA
You're disappointed in me?

TONY
Well, for someone who loves romance you really clubbed it to death.

ANGELA
Me? I planned this whole wedding. I was looking forward to a beautiful day where we could share the joy of sending two people off to a wonderful life together. And what happened?

TONY
What happened is you tore them asunder.

ANGELA
No, Tony, if anyone tore them asunder, it was you and that dumb hockey game. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you've become totally insensitive.

TONY
How could I take that the wrong way?

ANGELA
All I know is you've changed. You're not the same man who used to bring flowers home.
(ADDS QUICKLY)
Not for me, for the house.

TONY
Well, that was back in the days when you were considerate enough to call when you were going to be late. It's nothing to you, but twenty minutes means a lot to a roast.

ANGELA
Oh, really? When's the last time you made me chocolate chip cookies with walnuts? You know they're my favorite.

TONY
I make them all the time. You just eat too fast to notice.

ANGELA
How would you know? You're always running off to some athletic event or PTA meeting.

TONY
Well, excuse me for being responsible. Besides, with all the work you bring home from the office, you don't even have time left to talk to me.

ANGELA
Well, excuse me for being a professional.

TONY
You're excused.

ANGELA
Thank you.

TONY
You're welcome.

(THERE IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE. SAM ENTERS)

SAMANTHA
Hi, guys. Look what I found.
(SHE ESCORTS CHRISTY IN, STILL DRESSED IN WEDDING ATTIRE)

CHRSITY
(SENSING THE TENSION)
Did I come at a bad time?

TONY
(REFLEXIVELY)
Yes.

CHRISTY
I can some back later.
(SHE STARTS TO EXIT)

TONY
(DELAYED REACTION)
No, no...

(TONY AND ANGELA RUN AFTER HER)

CHRISTY
I have to talk to Lyle.

TONY
You could if he was here.

CHRISTY
He left? Oh, no, I love that man. I have to tell him. I've got to tell him fast, otherwise he's liable to find another woman.

SAMANTHA
I think you've got a few minutes.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE TWO

(Angela, Tony, Christy, Lyle, Gary, Extras)

EXT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - STOCK
INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - STOCK

(THE NEW YORK RANGERS EXECUTE A POWER PLAY AGAINST THE LOS ANGELES KINGS)

CUT TO:

INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - SHORT TIME LATER

(ANGLE ON SECTION OF THE STANDS FILLED WITH FANS. THE PEOPLE ARE SITTING BEHIND A TRANSPARENT PROTECTIVE PARTITION WHILE A COUPLE OF HOCKEY PLAYERS FROM THE PREVIOUS PLAY SMASH INTO THE BOARDS. LYLE IS GLUMLY SITTING IN HIS USUAL SEAT, IN THE FRONT ROW. THERE'S AN EMPTY SEAT ON EITHER SIDE OF HIM. GARY, THE ORGANIST, SEATED IN A RECESSED AREA, IS PLAYING "THE BLUE DANUBE WALTZ." EVERYBODY EXCEPT LYLE CLAPS AT THE APPROPRIATE SPOT. TONY, ANGELA AND CHRISTY COME DOWN THE AISLE. GARY SPOTS TONY AND GIVES A QUICK WAVE)

ANGELA
I didn't know hockey was so musical. It's just like the Ice Capades.

TONY
Yeah, and that person with no teeth is Dorothy Hammil.

CHRISTY
There he is.
(CHRISTY SQUEEZES HER WAY DOWN THE FRONT ROW PAST SOME IRRITATED FANS)
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
(SHE SITS NEXT TO LYLE. ANGELA IS ABOUT TO FOLLOW HER. TONY STOPS HER)

TONY
Angela, remember the last time you tried to help? You better let me handle this one. You wait here.

ANGELA
Right, Tony.

(TONY MAKES HIS WAY THROUGH THE AISLE AND TAKES THE EMPTY SEAT. ANGELA FOLLOWS)

TONY
Sorry, no more seats.

ANGELA
Oh, here's one...
(SHE SITS ON HIS LAP)

CHRISTY
Lyle, I think we have to talk.

(HE SAYS NOTHING, SITTING WITH FOLDED ARMS LOOKING OUT AT THE GAME)

TONY
Doc, listen to her. This could be the most important conversation Of your life.
(A HOCKEY PLAYER SMASHES INTO THE PARTITION)
By the way, what's the score?

LYLE
Rangers, three to one.

TONY
(SHOUTS)
All right, Rangers!

CHRISTY
Lyle, please. I'm sorry I walked out on you.

LYLE
You're sorry? I'm sorry.

CHRISTY
You're sorry?

TONY
You're both sorry, okay?
(THEN)
Angela, could you shift your weight a little?

ANGELA
Sorry. Oops.

LYLE
I really appreciate you coming down here and everything.

CHRISTY
My pleasure. Can we get married now?

LYLE
Well, Christy, I've been thinking. It's probably for the best the wedding is off. I'm an insensitive sports junkie. You can do a lot better.

CHRISTY
Believe me, I can't.

ANGELA
Listen to her, Lyle.

LYLE
I don't know. I've been single for all these years. Maybe I should stay this way.

TONY
No, no, single is bad. Together is good.
(THEN)
Angela, give me a little room here.

ANGELA
What Tony is trying to say is that living under the same roof with someone special makes life better. Well, not always. Sometimes you have a fight. But then you wake up the next morning and they're there for you. Untless they left early. But they make have left a note on the refrigerator. But even if they didn't --

TONY
Angela, would you bottom line this.

ANGELA
(QUICKLY TO LYLE AND CHRISTY)
Single is bad, together is good.

CHRISTY
Are you just saying that?

ANGELA
No, I mean it.

TONY
We both mean it.

CHRISTY
(WHISPERS TO LYLE)
Maybe we should leave them alone.
(THEN)
Unless you want to stay and watch the game.

LYLE
No, no I can do that anytime... Let's go read that book.
(THEY START TO EXIT)
Excuse us. Excuse us.
Excuse us. Excuse us.

(GARY SPOTS THEM AND BREAKS INTO THE OPENING CHORUS OF "THE WEDDING MARCH")

ANGELA
Nice couple, aren't they?

TONY
Are we matchmakers or what?

ANGELA
Isn't it romantic?
(THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. ANGELA BREAKS THE MOMENT)
Oh, there's an empty seat. I'll just slip over here, if you don't mind.

TONY
(RELIEVED)
I don't mind.

ANGELA
(SHE MOVES TO THE NEXT SEAT)
You know, this is kind of exciting. I've never been to a hockey game before.

TONY
You're in for a real treat.

ANGELA
What does that red circle on the ice indicate?

TONY
It indicates blood.

ANGELA
Oh.

(SUDDENLY, TWO HOCKEY PLAYERS SMASH INTO THE CLEAR PARTITION DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM. REFLEXIVELY, ANGELA GRABS TONY)

FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO