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11. Samantha's Growing Up (as Samantha's First Bra) [ - ]
by ReJoys2
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Transcript from the "As-Broadcast" script of Samantha's Growing Up (as Samantha's First Bra).

AS BROADCAST

January 16, 1985

WHO'S THE BOSS?

"Samantha's First Bra"

Executive Producers
Martin Cohan
and
Blake Hunter

Produced by
Bud Wiser

Directed by
Linda Day

Directed by
Linda Day

Written by
Paul Robinson Hunter

EPISODE: #0109
TAPE: 10/ 5 /84
AIR: 1/ 8 /85

WHO'S THE BOSS?
#0109

"Samantha's First Bra"

CAST

TONY MICELLI | TONY DANZA

ANGELA BOWER | JUDITH LIGHT

MONA ROBINSON | KATHERINE HELMOND

SAMANTHA MICELLI | ALYSSA MILANO

JONATHAN BOWER | DANNIY PINTAURO

SALES CLERK | LESLIE CHAIN

SETS

EXT. PATIO

INT. KITCHEN

INT. LINGERIE DEPARTMENT

INT. LIVING ROOM

INT. UPSTAIRS HOUSE

ESTABLISHING SHOT: EXT. HOUSE - UPSTAIRS LIGHTS ON

ACT ONE
SCENE ONE

FADE IN:
EXT. PATIO -- SATURDAY AFTERNOON

(TONY, FOOTBALL IN HAND, IS ABOUT TO THROW A PASS TO SAMANTHA)

TONY
Alright, three seconds left in the game. Blue, twenty-one. Fumble. Micelli fades back to pass. He tries to find a receiver. Can't find it. Yes! He throws the ball to…Micelli! And it's …
(WHEN THE BALL COMES TO HER, SAM PUTS HER HANDS UP TO SHIELD HER BODY AND MISSES THE CATCH)
… Dropped in the end zone.

SAMANTHA
Sorry, Dad.

(SHE PICKS UP THE BALL DISINTERESTEDLY AND TOSSES IT BACK TO HIM)

TONY
What do you mean, sorry? We were on our way to the Super Bowl.

SAMANTHA
(HEADING FOR THE HOUSE)
I don't feel like playing.

TONY
(INCREDULOUS)
Hey, come on, honey. I'm just kidding. It wasn't the Super Bowl, it was the Rose Bowl.

SAMANTHA
Forget it.

(SHE'S GONE)

TONY
Boy, those wide receivers are so sensitive.

(HE HURRIES AFTER HER)

CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

(ANGELA AND MONA ARE IN THE KITCHEN. SAM AND TONY COME IN FROM OUTSIDE)

MONA
Well, that was a quick game.

TONY
Hey, hey, honey. Forget it. We'll work on it. We got all next season.
You just got to tuck the ball into your chest.

SAMANTHA
But Dad, it hurts if I catch it like that.

TONY
Since when? Come on. It doesn't hurt if you do it right.

SAMANTHA
I've got homework to do.

(SAM GOES OUT THE DOOR INTO THE LIVING ROOM. TONY TURNS TO ANGELA AND MONA, BAFFLED)

TONY
How do you like that? Sam would rather do homework than play football? You think she's sick?

MONA
Maybe you were throwing the ball too hard, Popeye.

(SHE FEELS HIS MUSCLE)

TONY
Well, I am what I am.No, no, I'm throwing it the way I always throw it.

ANGELA
Maybe she's just losing interest in football.

TONY
(INCREDULOUS)
Sam could punt before she could walk.

ANGELA
Well, tomboys do grow up, you know.

MONA
(POINTEDLY)
And out.

ANGELA
"Out?" Oh, you mean…?

MONA
Unhuh. Unhuh.

ANGELA
And she can't tuck the ball in the way she used to because…

MONA
Unhuh.

ANGELA
Unhuh.

ANGELA
Umhmm.

TONY
(FED UP WITH THE INNUENDOES)
What is this? What is this?
(HE IMITATES THEIR SOUNDS)
Unhuh, unhuh, unhuh, umhmm. What're you two talking about?

ANGELA
(DELICATELY)
Well, Tony, when girls get to be a certain age, their bodies begin to change….

TONY
Angela, Angela. I know about the birds and the bees.

MONA
But the birds and the bees don't wear bras.

TONY
(STUNNED)
Wait a minute. You're trying to tell me that Sam needs a bra? Are you serious?

ANGELA
Cross my heart.

TONY
She's just a little girl.

MONA
Yes, well, so was Elizabeth Taylor. But one day she was "National Velvet," and then the next day she was Cleopatra.

ANGELA
And, she will be twelve day after tomorrow.

TONY
(GETTING TOUCHY)
Hey, I'll get her one when the time comes.

MONA
(LOOKING AT HER WATCH)
I believe the time has come. And I think the stores are open.

TONY
Come on.

MONA
All of her little friends are beginning to wear them. And she even talked to me about it.

ANGELA
You? Why didn't she talk to me?

MONA
Isn't it obvious? She needed a role model.

TONY
Hey, hey, hey, ho. How come she didn't talk to me? I'm her father.

ANGELA
Tony, a girl usually talks to a woman about these things. And if you like, I'd be glad to help Sam go shopping.

TONY
(ASSERTING HIS RIGHTS)
No, no. That's alright. That's alright. No problem. Hey, I bought her a fishing rod. I bought her hockey skates. I'll buy her a bra.

ANGELA
(CAREFULLY)
Tony, listen, it's not quite the same thing.

TONY
(LAMELY)
They were ladies' skates.

(SHE FLIPS SWITCH AND THE FULL CUISINART STARTS TO CHURN NOISILY)

CUT TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE TWO

INT. LINGERIE DEPARTMENT - AN HOUR LATER

(TONY WALKS THROUGH A MAZE OF RACKS DISPLAYING SLIPS, CAMISOLES, NIGHTGOWNS AND TEDDIES. IT'S LATE, AND THE PLACE SEEMS DESERTED. HE LOOKS AROUND, NOT KNOWING WHERE TO START. A MANNEQUIN MODELS AN ELEGANT NIGHTGOWN AND PEGNOIR, HANGING NEARBY, CATCHES HIS EYE. HE GOES TO IT, CHECKS IF ANYONE CAN SEE HIM, THEN STARTS TO TOUCH IT, WONDERING WHAT IT'S MADE OF. A TALL YOUNG WOMAN SALES CLERK COMES UP BEHIND HIM)

SALES CLERK
Don't touch it if you're not going to wear it.

(SHE LAUGHS. SURPRISED, TONY PULLS HIS HAND AWAY AS IF HE'D BEEN DOING SOMETHING NAUGHTY. HE SMILES SHEEPISHLY AT THE CLERK)

TONY
I was, uh…I was, uh,…I was just looking for a bra.
(ADDS QUICKLY)
I mean, for my daughter.

(THE CLERK LEADS HIM TO A COUNTER IFLLED WITH BOXES OF TRAINING BRAS)

SALES CLERK
And, what size is she?

TONY
Ah, I don't know. She takes a five-and-a-half hockey skate.
(OFF HER LOOK)
I don't know. A twelve-year-old girl's size.

SALES CLERK
I take it this is her first foundation garment?

TONY
O, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right.
(JOKING)
Mine too.
(HE LAUGHS, THEN EXPLAINING)
I mean it's the first time I ever bought a foundation garment.

SALES CLERK
I got it.
(SHOWING TONY A BOX WITH A CELLAPHANE WINDOW)
This is our most popular pre-teen model.

TONY
(LOOKING CLOSER)
This is? Looks like a surgical bandage.

SALES CLERK
Does your daughter need something larger?

TONY
No. If you ask me, my daughter doesn't need anything. I mean, unless you've got something that'll help her catch a football.

SALES CLERK
Well, this one's very popular with the Green Bay Packers.
(SHE PULLS ANOTHER BOXED BRA OUT)
Here's a pretty one with a little pink bow.

TONY
(SCOFFING)
No, no, that's too fancy. I don't like that stuff.

SALES CLERK
But you're not buying it for yourself, are you? You're thinking like a man, and you should be thinking like a twelve-year-old girl.

TONY
(VERY UNCOMFORTABLE NOW)
I'm having a hard time thinking like a thirty-year-old father.

SALES CLERK
Well, maybe next time you should bring your daughter with you. That's what all the other single fathers do.
(HE PICKS UP THE PACKAGED BRA SHE SHOWED HIM)

TONY
Tell you what. This one here'll be fine.

(HE HANDS HER THE MONEY. WHILE SHE RINGS UP THE SALE)

SALES CLERK
An excellent choice. It's the one I started out in.
(SHE HANDS HIM HIS CHANGE)
Would you like a bag?

TONY
No, no, no. I think I just want to get out of here.
(SHE TAKES A BOX OUT FROM UNDER THE COUNTER. CLOSE-UP OF THE BOX HE'S CARRYING. IT SAYS "MY STARTER BRA" ON IT)

SALES CLERK
Are you sure?

TONY
Yeah, I think I will take a bag. Thank you very much. That's very nice of you.
(SHE HANDS HIM A BAG, HE EMBARRASSEDLY STUFFS THE BOX INTO THE BAG AND HURRIES OUT. AS HE PASSES THE MANNEQUIN)
You're doing a good job, sweetheart.

(AND ON THIS, WE)

CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

(SAMANTHA IS ON THE COUCH READING "BLACK BEAUTY")

TONY
Hi, honey.

SAMANTHA
Hi, Dad.

TONY
Long time since we talked.

SAMANTHA
We talked this morning, remember? You asked me how I wanted my eggs. I said "over easy."

TONY
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was great. That was great. I mean, talk, talk.
When people reach a certain age, honey, they begin to…they begin to have trouble catching footballs.
Well, not all people. Just girls…women. Here.

(HE HANDS HER THE BAG)

SAMANTHA
(SHE PULLS THE BOX OUT OF THE BAG, LOOKS AT THE BOX AND OPENS IT. SHE LOOKS AT THE CONTENTS AND SLOWLY CLOSES THE BOX, SLIGHTLY DISAPPOINTED)
Ohhh…

TONY
I knew it. I knew she didn't want one of those.

SAMANTHA
Well, no…I want one like Marcie's. With the little pink bow in the middle.

TONY
You wanted the pink bow? Why?

SAMANTHA
'Cause everyone's going to see it.

TONY
Hey, who's going to see it?

SAMANTHA
Everyone. All the girls in gym class and at the slumber parties. Dad, you just don't understand. You have to have a little pink bow.

TONY
Well, I'll go someplace else and get you the one with the bow.

SAMANTHA
Why don't you just take that one back where you got it?

TONY
(REMEMBERING)
No, no, no, no, no. We'll go someplace else but this time you gotta come with me.

SAMANTHA
Dad, remember when we went shopping for hockey skates?

TONY
Yeah.

SAMANTHA
That was fun 'cause you know a lot about hockey skates. I mean, you even wear them yourself, right?

TONY
Yeah…?

SAMANTHA
(FISHING)
I'll bet Angela doesn't know a thing about hockey skates.

TONY
You want Angela to take you, huh?

SAMANTHA
Oh, Dad. You're the best.

TONY
At almost everything.

CUT TO:

ACT ONE
SCENE FOUR

INT. LIVING ROOM -- THE NEXT AFTERNOON

(TONY SITS ON THE STAIRS POUNDING HIS FIST INTO THE MITT HE'S GOTTEN SAM FOR HER BIRTHDAY. JONATHAN SITS NEXT TO HIM)

TONY
You gotta break this in real good. Sam's going to love this glove. Oh, boy.

JONATHAN
Sam keeps asking about what you got her for her birthday.

TONY
You didn't tell her, did you?

JONATHAN
Uh-hu. I didn't tell her.

TONY
That's my boy. My tiger.

JONATHAN
I didn't know until now.

(JONATHAN JUMPS OFF THE COUCH AND RUNS OUT THE FRONT DOOR AS TONY GETS UP AND CAREFULLY HIDES THE MITT. ANGELA ENTERS ALL EXCITED)

ANGELA
Hi, Tony, we had the best time. We picked up Mother, and we all went into the city, we went to Bloomingdale's, we went to lunch.

TONY
Did you get a bra?

ANGELA
Yeah, and so did Samantha.

TONY
Angela, I owe you one. I really owe you. I appreciate this. And when Jonathan is ready to go to mud wrestling, I'm your man.

ANGELA
Thank you. I'll keep you in mind.

(HE POINTS TO HIMSELF. MONA STICKS HER HEAD IN THE DOOR)

MONA
Okay. Is everybody here? Is everybody ready?

TONY
What's going on here?

MONA
Come on, Tony, sit down. Ready? Now…

(MONA GIVES A FANFARE AS THEY ALL TURN TOWARD THE FRONT DOOR AS SAM COMES THROUGH IT, FOLLOWED BY JONATHAN. SHE WEARS A STYLISH DRESS, HER HAIR IS COMBED AND THERE'S A HINT OF LINER UNDER HER EYES. SHE IS VERY MUCH A YOUNG LADY NOW: THE TOMBOY HAS COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED. DUM-STRUCK, TONY JUST STARES AT HER)

JONATHAN
(EXCITEDLY)
That's Sam in that dress!

ANGELA
Isn't she gorgeous?

(SAMANTHA SMILES AND MODELS HER DRESS. SHE WAITS ANXIOUSLY FOR A REACTION FROM TONY; HE'S JUST STARING AT HER)

SAMANTHA
Don't you like it, Dad?

TONY
(NOT THRILLED)
You look so grown-up.

MONA
(QUICKLY TO THE RESCUE)
Oh, she looks beautiful. Come on, Sam. Let's go up and take that dress off. We don't want any wrinkles before your birthday party.

SAMANTHA
Thank you, Mrs. Bow… Angela.

(AS THEY GO UPSTAIRS)

JONATHAN
Did you get me something, Grandma?

MONA
Well, of course I did.

JONATHAN
Clothes or good stuff?

MONA
Clothes. Be grateful.

(MONA LEADS SAM AND JONATHAN UPSTAIRS, THEIR ARMS FULL OF BOXES. TONY AND ANGELA LOOK AT EACH OTHER, BOTH FEELING BETRAYED)

ANGELA
How could you do that to her? She wanted you to love that dress.

TONY
Yeah, well, it's a great dress. But you got the wrong kid in it.

ANGELA
Tony, don't spoil it for her. She looks so beautiful, and she's so proud of herself.

TONY
(HURT AND CONFUSED)
Hey, that's not my Sam up there. What did you do to my little girl?

(AS ANGELA STARES AT HIM, STUNNED, WE)

FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE ONE

FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

ANGELA
Tony, I feel as though I should be apologizing but I'm not sure for what.

TONY
Well, Sam's just too young for those fancy clothes you bought her.

ANGELA
She's not going to play little league forever.

TONY
That's fine, but let me tell you something, that dress is going back.

ANGELA
Wait a minute. You can't take that dress back. That's my birthday gift to her.

TONY
Fine, fine. You bought her a birthday gift. Fine, you bought her a dress. Fine

ANGELA
(QUIETLY)
And the robe.
(BEAT)
Some shoes…and a little purse I couldn't resist, and inside it's got lipstick and a perfume.

TONY
You're turning her into Joan Collins.

ANGELA
Tony, I think you're overreacting just a little.

TONY
Oh, no I'm not. I saw all the eye gunk you put on her.

ANGELA
Just put a little eyeliner… for fun. Oh, Tony, I've never been shopping with a little girl before. Maybe I got carried away.

TONY
Yeah, maybe you did. You tried to turn Samantha into a woman overnight.

ANGELA
I'm not turning her into a woman. Nature is.

TONY
Well, nature didn't take her to Bloomingdale's. And nature didn't dress her up like Miss Connecticut.

ANGELA
Well, what's wrong with that? Isn't that why you brought her here? So she could have some of these things?

(MONA COMES DOWNSTAIRS)

MONA
Angela, I don't think Jonathan is in love with his monogrammed handkerchiefs. He's making little parachutes out of them…for his hamster.

TONY
(IGNORING MONA)
Hey, Angela, I know you meant well with those clothes, but they're all going back.

MONA
Going back? Wait a minute, Tony. You can't do that. You're going to break her heart.

TONY
Hey, listen, the two of you. That's my daughter up there and I know her better than both of you put together. So she's being real polite about this, but that ain't her up there, alright.

(HE EXITS INTO THE KITCHEN. ANGELA WORRIED AND CHEWING ON A NAIL, WATCHES HIM LEAVE)

MONA
(TO ANGELA)
A lot of parents just can't let their kids grow up.

(SHE SLAPS ANGELA'S HAND)

(ON ANGELA'S REACTION, WE)

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO

ESTABLISHING SHOT
EXT HOUSE -- THAT NIGHT -- UPSTAIRS LIGHTS ON

CUT TO:
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

(TONY CLIMBS THE STAIRS, KNOCKS AND STARTS TO OPEN SAM'S BEDROOM DOOR)

TONY
(AS HE GOES IN)
Sam honey…

(HE'S STOPPED BY A SHRIEK)

SAMANTHA (O. S.)
Dad!

(TONY RETREATS BACK INTO THE HALL AS THE DOOR IS FORCED SHUT)

TONY
What's the matter?

SAMANTHA (O. S.)
I'm trying on some of my new clothes, and I'm not fully dressed.

TONY
Do you want me to help you with some of your zippers?

SAMANTHA (O. S.)
No. No. I can do it myself.

(HE STARES AT THE DOOR, AMAZED. HE'S NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE)

TONY
Okay.

(SAM'S DOOR OPENS; SHE PEEKS OUT, TYING A NEW BATHROBE AROUND HER)

SAMANTHA
Did you want to see me?

TONY
I just came up to tuck you in.

SAMANTHA
Really, Dad, I'm getting too old to be tucked in.
(SHE WHIRLS AROUND MODELING THE ROBE)
What do you think?

TONY
It's nice.

SAMANTHA
Nice? I love it! Look!
(SHE PULLS AT THE LABEL)
You have to wash this in delicate cycle.

TONY
I'm glad you pointed that out. I might have spun dried it.
(LOOKS AT HER)
Gee, I guess you're really growing up, huh?

SAMANTHA
Well, I'll be twelve tomorrow. We're talking full price at the movies.

TONY
(MAKING A JOKE)
Then we're talking half as many movies.

SAMANTHA
I'll still kiss you goodnight.

TONY
I'll take what I can get.

(SHE REACHES UP, HER ARMS OUTSPREAD. HE HUGS HER)

SAMANTHA
Goodnight, Dad.

TONY
Goodnight, baby.

(SAM RETURNS TO HER ROOM AND IMMEDIATELY CLOSES THE DOOR. TONY GIVES A RESIGNED SHRUG AND HEADS SLOWLY DOWNSTAIRS)

CUT TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE THREE

INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

(TONY COMES DOWN THE STAIRS, GETS THE MITT FROM ITS HIDING PLACE AND THOUGHTFULLY TOSSES THE BALL INTO THE MITT)

CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS

(MONA AND ANGELA ARE IN THE KITCHEN. SAMANTHA'S BIRTHDAY CAKE, FULLY ICED, SITS ON THE TABLE. MONA, POISED WITH A DECORATING TOOL, IS READY TO WRITE ON THE CAKE)

ANGELA
Tony baked Sam the most beautiful birthday cake.

MONA
Well, you're the advertising biggie. Now Angela, I want you to think of something witty, poignant, and clever to let this little girl know how we really feel about her.

ANGELA
How about "Happy Birthday, Sam"?

(MONA WRITE ON THE CAKE AS TONY ENTERS)

TONY
You know, it's not easy admitting you were wrong…

ANGELA
Are you saying you were wrong?

TONY
No. But I might not have been as right as I thought I was.

ANGELA
What happened?

TONY
I go up to kiss Sam goodnight, she tells me she's too old to be tucked in. I mean, before you know it, you know, she'll fall in love; she'll get married. I'll dance "Daddy's Little Girl", and she'll be gone forever.

ANGELA
Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little? She's not even interested in boys.

(MONA, FINISHED DECORATING THE CAKE, PUTS A CAKE COVER ON IT, AND PUTS IT ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR)

TONY
Yet! Just wait. It's happening so fast, man.

MONA
Oh, Tony. Don't worry about it. Really. One minute they're all grown up, and the next they bounce right back to being a kid. I remember when Angela was in the sixth grade…

ANGELA
Mother, don't tell that story.

MONA
Look, Angela, I had the misery of raising you, at lest let me get a few laughs out of it. So Angela met this yoyo named Lester Bundy…

ANGELA
Oh, Mother, he wasn't that bad. Kind of cute in his crossing guard uniform.

MONA
Well, anyway. She came home from school and she said to me she was a woman in love. She gave away all her dolls to the Salvation Army. And then old yoyo Lester dumped her for a hot little hall monitor.

ANGELA
That tramp.

MONA
Well, anyway…

ANGELA
(FINISHING FOR HER)
She went down to the Salvation Army and she got all my dolls back.

MONA
But not before they gave me a bowl of hot turkey soup and a sermon on "The Evils of Muscatel."

(TONY STARTS TO LAUGH IN SPITE OF HIMSELF)

TONY
Mona, that's a great story. It really cheered me up.

MONA
Yeah, I can see that and it embarrassed my daughter, so my work's done for the day.

(SHE GRABS HER JACKET AND HEADS FOR BACK DOOR)

MONA
Hello, mini people.

(TONY AND ANGELA HEAR A NOISE FROM THE SWINGING DOOR)

(HE SWINGS IT OPEN)

CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

(JONATHAN AND SAMANTHA ARE PUSHED BACK BY THE DOOR)

TONY
Hey, what are you two doing up?

JONATHAN
We're trying to hear birthday talk.

SAMANTHA
No, we're not. We just want to get some milk.
(POINTEDLY)
Don't we, Jonathan?

TONY
Get your milk. Hit the road. Come on, let's hustle up, huh? Get to bed.

SAMANTHA
We're hustling.

(TONY, ANGELA AND MONA EXIT INTO LIVING ROOM)

INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

MONA
Oh, she's a beauty. She's a regular Brooke Shields.

TONY
I guess I gotta admit she looks kind of cute in her robe.

ANGELA
Oh, and it had the cutest little pair of matching slippers.

TONY
Don't press your luck, Angela.

ANGELA
Goodnight, Mother. Thanks for everything.

MONA
Goodnight, dear. Goodnight, Tone.

TONY
Goodnight, Mone.

CUT TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE FOUR

INT. KITCHEN - COUNTINUOUS

(JONATHAN IS ON SAMANTHA'S SHOULDERS STRAINING TO SEE THE CAKE ON THE TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR)

SAMANTHA
Could you see it?

JONATHAN
(LIFTING THE CAKE COVER)
It's chocolate! I win!

SAMANTHA
Let me taste it.

(HE STICKS FINGER IN FROSTING AND HOLDS DOWN FOR SAMANTHA TO LICK)

SAMANTHA
(TASTING FROSTING)
Oh, heaven… Oh, it's good.
(JONATHAN CLIMBS DOWN OFF SAMANTHA'S SHOULDERS)
You know what my father's giving me for my birthday, don't you?

JONATHAN
Yeah. But, I can't tell.

SAMANTHA
Is it a car?

JONATHAN
No.

SAMANTHA
Is it an airplane?

JONATHAN
No.

SAMANTHA
Is it a second baseman's glove?

JONATHAN
Uh-oh.

SAMANTHA
It is! All right! That's what I want more than anything!

JONATHAN
She got me again.

CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS


TONY
I got to face it. The next couple of years, mon ami, there're gonna be tough.

ANGELA
I know. It's not easy raising them alone, is it?

TONY
Sure. What do I know about raising a…young lady? You (I) mean, I know the streets of Brooklyn, all six uses for Easy-Off. That's it.

ANGELA
Tony, come on. You know your daughter.

TONY
I'm not so sure. I'm the one who bought her a baseball glove for her birthday. I can't give her that now. I've got to give her something that shows her I understand she's growing up.

ANGELA
Tony, that's a wonderful idea.

TONY
So I guess I could use a little help from someone who knows these things. Someone who gave up everything for a crossing guard.

ANGELA
(EAGERLY)
Well since you asked, I've been thinking. What about a beautiful little necklace to go with the clothes?

TONY
Real grown-up. I'll take back the glove.

ANGELA
I'm proud of you, Tony. You're going to make it through puberty after all.

TONY
And I thought the first time was tough.

DISSOLVE TO:

ACT TWO
SCENE FIVE

INT. LIVING ROOM - THE NEXT EVENING


(TONY, ANGELA, MONA AND JONATHAN WATCH AS SAM, DRESSED IN HER NEW DRESS OPENS HER BIRTHDAY GIFTS)

JONATHAN
(GIVING HER A GIFT)
Here, Sam, this one's from me.

SAMANTHA
Oh, thanks Jonathan.
(SHE OPENS IT. IT'S A MAGAZINE)
Oh, look everybody. Reptile Weekly. Thank you, Jonathan.

MONA
(TAKES THE MAGAZINE)
That's nice. Oh, gosh. And look here. If you renew your subscription now you will receive a free alligator.

JONATHAN
It'll be here Wednesday.

ANGELA
Wonderful.

TONY
(TEASINGLY)
Well, Sam, I guess that's it for presents.

SAMANTHA
Oh, come on, Dad. There might be just one more. Where are you hiding it?

TONY
Here it is, honey.
(TONY SMILES MISCHIEVOUSLY, PULLS A SMALL BOX FROM HIS SHIRT POCKET AND HANDS IT TO HER)
Happy birthday, sweetheart. I hope you'll like it. Angela helped me pick it out.
(SEEING THE SMALL PACKAGE, HER FACE FALLS. SHE UNWRAPS THE GIFT, TRYING TO HIDE HER DISAPPOINTMENT. SHE HOLDS UP A GOLD CHAIN WITH A LOCKET HANGING FROM IT. ANGELA AND MONA BOTH AD-LIB HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS)
You know it's to wear with all those fancy clothes you got.

SAMANTHA
(COVERING HER DISAPPOINTMENT)
Thanks, Dad.

JONATHAN
Tony, where's the real present?

(HE POUNDS HIS FIST INTO HIS HAND AS IF IT WERE A BASEBALL MITT. SAMANTHA SEES HIM AND TURNS TO TONY, BRIGHTLY)

SAMANTHA
You have something else for me?

TONY
(HOPING)
You want the something else?

SAMANTHA
If it's the something else I think it is.

TONY
I think you're getting two presents, Sam.
(HE RUNS INTO THE DEN AND RETURNS IMMEDIATELY. BOTH HANDS HELD BEHIND HIS BACK)
Which hand? Which hand?

(SAM RUNS TO HIM, PULLING HIS HANDS TO THE FRONT. IN ONE OF THEM IS THE MITT. SAM GRABS IT, JUMPING UP AND DOWN)

SAMANTHA
My new mitt!
(SHE THROWS HER ARMS AROUND TONY JOYFULLY)
Thanks, Dad!

TONY
You're welcome, Tiger.
(TO ANGELA AND MONA)
She likes it. She likes it!

(HE SITS DOWN, LAUGHING AT HER EXCITEMENT. SHE PUTS THE MITT ON AND BEGINS POUNDING IT)

SAMANTHA
Nothing'll get by me now.

(AS SHE FIELDS A COUPLE OF IMAGINARY BALLS, ANGELA LEANS OVER TO TONY, WHISPERING)

ANGELA
I thought you took the mitt back.

TONY
(HAPPILY)
I couldn't; I'd already oiled it.

(TONY TAKES THE BALL FROM SAMANTHA AND MOTIONS HER ACROSS THE ROOM)

TONY
Alright. It's a fly ball to the second baseman, Micelli.
(HE THROWS HER THE BALL)
And she makes the play! Three outs! The Mets take the series! And I've got the best dressed second baseman in the majors.

FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO

TAG

FADE IN:
INT. KITCHEN - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

(TONY'S WASHING LETTUCE AND PUTTING THE LEAVES IN A SALAD BOWL WHEN ANGELA COMES IN THE BACK DOOR CARRYING SPRIGS OF FALL LEAVES)

ANGELA
Mmmm. It's great out there. That looks good. Mmmm. It is good.

(ANGELA REACHES IN THE SALAD BOWL AND STEALS A LETTUCE LEAF)

TONY
Would you please get your hand outta my salad.

(SAMANTHA COMES IN, BREATHING HARD. SHE'S WEARING JEANS AND A SWEATER AND CARRIES HER MITT)

SAMANTHA
Dad, this new mitt is really great. Me and the guys had a fantastic game.

TONY
Yeah? Did you win?

SAMANTHA
No, we lost. 12 to 2.

TONY
Then what's so fantastic?

SFX: PHONE RINGS

TONY
I'll get that.

(TONY STARTS FOR IT, BUT SAMANTHA INTERCEPTS HIM)

SAMANTHA
I'll get it. It's for me.
(TONY SHOOTS ANGELA A LOOK AS SAMANTHA PICKS UP THE PHONE)
Hello? Hi, Bobby.
(INTO THE PHONE)
Oh, sure, I'll help you with your fielding. Okay. Alright. Bye.
(SHE HANGS UP, THEN TO TONY)
He's a klutz, but he's so cute.

TONY
Hey, who's this Bobby? Bring him around.

FADE OUT:
END OF TAG