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What Am I Going To Do Without You? [ - ]
by GoldenGirl_Sherry
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Angela walked into the kitchen and put on the tea kettle to make herself a cup of tea. It was late but she couldn't sleep. Her mind had been jumbled all evening since learning that Tony was meeting Kathleen's Dad. She had tried sleeping but found herself alternating between crying and tossing and turning. So she decided that a nice cup of hot tea was in order to soothe her nerves. The tea kettle whistled and she poured herself a cup sitting down with it at the kitchen table. She wrapped her hands around it and sat there her thoughts about Tony meeting Kathleen's Dad causing a cold shudder to go through her.

Angela knew what meeting Kathleen's Dad meant and it scared the hell out of her. There was no other explanation than that Kathleen was hoping that she and Tony would be getting married someday. Why else would she want her Dad and Tony to meet one another? New tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about Tony and Kathleen as husband and wife. She never thought or should she say that she had prayed that their relationship would never reach the marriage level. But it was pretty obvious now that it was heading in that very direction. Angela had never felt more scared in her life than she did at that very moment. If or she hated to admit this when Tony and Kathleen got married things between Tony and her would change dramatically. He no longer would be living with her and they  would no longer be sharing their day to day lives with each other. At least for now he was still living with her but for how long? She didn't expect him to live with her forever but still the thought scared her that he would leave her and marry Kathleen.

Kathleen. That name sent shivers down Angela's spine everytime she heard it. She was a nice enough woman but Angela couldn't help herself from feeling resentful of her. She knew that she really didn't have a reason to be. After all she and Tony weren't married or anything and he was free to date whomever he pleased... just like she was. Her mind drifted to the guys she had dated since that fatal night in the study when she had told Tony that "maybe they had to go through this to see if they could go any further." Even though it had hurt her deeply and even though there was a part of her that had wanted to plead with Tony to not pursue a relationship with Kathleen she had decided with a broken heart that it would be better if she let Tony go so he could be free to have his chance at a relationship with Kathleen. But now she wondered if letting him go had been the right thing. She had foolishly thought they would go out a few times and that would be that. But it wasn't just a few times and it was becoming more and more clear that he was getting deeply involved with her. If meeting her Father wasn't enough to convince her that their relationship may very well soon be at the marriage stage- she didn't know what was.

The rest of the family thought she was doing okay with Tony dating Kathleen. But the truth was the more involved he became with her the more scared she became. Oh sure she hid it well by dating those other guys and pretending for the most part that she was okay with the changes in her relationship with Tony. But it was all an act. An act that she was sick and tired of playing. She wanted things to go back to how they were before Tony had made the choice to sleep with Kathleen and therefore changing her life and their relationship forever. She sighed and took a sip of the now cold liquid and grimaced. She poured the tea down the drain and left the kitchen to go upstairs to try to go back to sleep. She slowly walked up the stairs each step feeling heavier and heavier just like her heart was. She opened her bedroom door and slipped into bed feeling new tears streaming down her cheeks as she thought about Tony and Kathleen making a lifetime commitment to each other.

"What am I going to do without you Tony?" she cried before finally drifting off into a restless sleep.